• As much as I love Excel and geek out when I figure out something else to do with it, yesterday was one of those days where I really wanted to take that stupid program and fling it across the room.
• Chanting I love my job when you are knee deep in some problem doesn’t make the frustration any less, in fact, I get a little crankier.
• I read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy last month, it was the first time I read something like that and I actually liked it. The best part? Stumbling on different videos of stars reading excerpts from them. Seriously, I would pay good money to listen to a variety of stars doing this.
• I am very thankful that I read them on my Kindle, I would be 50 shades of red if I read the paperbacks at lunch.
• I just watched the best act ever on America’s Got Talent, it was a father/son duo who trained RESCUE dogs to do tricks. They were doing flips, walking on their hind legs and doing little dances, cutest thing ever!
• I turned to Wook and asked him what he could do, he promptly sighed and went back to sleep.
• I am the first to admit, I am a label loving fool but hand me a rescue animal and it is all over with, some of the best love, cuddles and companionship ever.
• For those out there that still think AGT made a mistake by hiring Howard Stern, did you not see the heartbreaking moment with him and the seven year old rapper??? Oh my, he really is a nice guy who has made a living being a, um, I guess you could say perv. But that is his schtick.
• After an in-depth discussion with Son last week, it was decided that she doesn’t want to share my ribs and bbq with everyone. So as an early birthday treat, we are having a small dinner next Friday.
• How hard is this going to be to transport the ribs, bbq sauce and rub to Nashville? I have to steam them here and let them settle before they touch the grill.
• It was a very bad week for disco last week, of course my heart is still broken that Andy Gibb died about 100 years ago.
• I really want to see Rock of Ages when it comes out next month but I really don’t care for Tom Cruise. I don’t know if I can get over him being in the film.

And with that, I must go so I can pay attention to the finale of Dancing with the Stars. Please let William Levy and Cheryl Burke win! Pretty please?

• Apparently my trainer is very serious about working on my balance and coordination. . .yesterday was spent trying to balance on one of those half ball half board thingy (why yes, that is it’s technical name).
• This exercise is to help strengthen your core as well as balance. . .I laughed my ass off most of the time while I was doing this exercise.
• Because my trainer is really mean, he then had me do squats on it while sticking my butt out. . .the more concepts you add to each exercise, the harder it is for me to complete.
• He was nice and stretched my legs out for me after what seemed like a two hour workout instead of one. . .now, does anyone know of a machine or a person I can hire to stretch me out on a regular basis?
• If you were wondering why there was a chill in the air Sunday, blame it on me. I actually cleaned my apartment Saturday.
• I only did it because I was going out with an old high school friend and I didn’t want him to think I was that big of a slob.
• I know I am getting older when staying out until the wee hours of the morning means a two day recovery.
• In honor of some college girls on the prowl Saturday night, I busted out Baby Got Back
• I may have lost count of the number of drinks I had. . .I have a good excuse though
• I haven’t laughed that hard or talked that fast in forever
• Best laugh this week, overhearing the muscle guys last night counting their reps. They sounded like really bad impressions of Marilyn Monroe.
• Best laugh last week, pretty much anything that was said or done at Hair of the Dog Saturday night
• I would also like to apologize to the kids that ended up sitting with us, we are really the anomaly of this area
• Once again I had to admit to someone that although I grew up in Cleveland, I have not rafted down the Ocoee River
• I know, right?
• I found someone else that dislikes mayo as much as I do
• I kicked it old school Friday night and watched the documentary on Def Leppard’s Hysteria album. It took them four years to make that sucker.
• I am still in LOVE with Phil Collen (the guitar play for them, not the drummer for Genesis)
• They will be in Nashville and Atlanta in the next couple of months. . .
• Must go so I can drool over Phil Collen again
• I spent more time waiting for a table at Carabba’s Sunday than actually ordering and eating at a table. . .next year, reservations
• Because I have such a knack for falling down, I got to do it Friday night with the help of my neighbors’ St Bernard puppy but no bruise.
• I prefer to fall all by myself instead of being helped by a dog
• I am still a firm believer that guys should at least be able to drive a manual transmission, it’s a long story and theory but seriously? If I can do it, you should be able to as well, at least when it comes to cars.
• I love to make lists, any kind of list will do. While taking a short break from fighting with a spreadsheet, I made a list to keep track of all the nicknames I use on the blog, places I want to visit, concerts I want to see, a few more chapters to add to my hypothetical book and a general list of things I need to do. . .
• Yes, I think that just proved how dorky I can be. . .

And I can mark off posting to the blog now! Early! Woo hoo! And another episode of America’s Got Talent is on tonight. Why yes, I totally started watching it when they named Howard Stern as a judge. Maybe I can make a list of the lists I need to make. . .maybe I should just start going to the gym every day after work instead.

• I hate migraines and I was really doing so well not having them. Sure, horrible headaches, especially when a front would come in but it has been awhile since I had one knock me on my tush.
• Apparently, the Wook knew I was not feeling well, he spent all night curled up in the crook of my arm.
• Saturday night I got a nice wake up call, the fire alarm had been pulled at my building. Besides the fact that that sucker is loud, 1am is not a good time for me.
• A neighbor and I think that the “awesome” kids on the third floor pulled it. All I have to say is they are quite lucky it wasn’t during the work week.
• I am dreading tomorrow, my trainer will be back from vacay and will want to make up for lost time.
• How is it possible to sleep all day and still be very sleepy?

Sorry for such a short post, my head still hurts and I am back to yawning. I am grateful that I can at least read now, earlier it hurt to move my eyes even a millimeter.

Of course that cool was not there during my teen years. I was such a dork, from trying out not once but twice the whole perming my hair (I believe some childhood boys that were friends were the ones that originated Popcorn) but also trying out some trends that I look back on with horror. I wasn’t a part of the A crowd but I think being in my own little world made me see things differently. I wanted out of my hometown, I wanted to travel and I wanted to write.

While I may not have gone all out with each of those goals, I have to say, not bad for the dorky girl who was quite shy in high school. Bird teases me about the fact that I at least dated in high school and I have to laugh each time we talk about it. Sure, I dated, but the majority of guys I did date did not go to my school and more than likely they lived in the next town over.

When I was dating Chandler last year I had to laugh because we would bump into someone we both knew and he would mention that he had dated her. I was not accustomed to that since I either dated outside of my high school or when I lived in Nashville, it was odd to bump into an old flame. We even pulled out my old high school yearbooks and looked through them. Pages upon pages of pictures of him, countless girls who swooned over him and then I would have maybe two pictures in the yearbook. I think I might have told him he was dating a dork at one point.

I finally came into my own after moving for the second time back to Nashville. It was rough at first but between college friends and friends of those college friends, I began to figure out who I was. While others dreaded turning 30, I had a countdown to that glorious day. A very old friend of mine, Red, turned 30 nine days before me. I think I had called him to tease him about getting older and he paid me back with the don’t go into the light line that his sister had said to him.

I finally realized that it didn’t matter if I didn’t have a perfectly flat tummy or my thighs touched. I had cobbled together a group of friends that made me laugh and accepted me as is, no need to impress. Of course, we also spent those years going out to sports bars, drinking and misbehaving but those early 30s were a lot of fun.

I wouldn’t want to repeat most of those nights now because, well, I don’t have the energy for those late nights. I like being asleep by 10ish. And of course those friends all have little ones now, so our fun equates to dinners out or hanging at one of their places.

So here I am, 38 and quite comfy with my dorky status. I still trip over my own two feet, I still have really odd tastes when it comes to men and I have yet to be able to settle down. But sometimes I think that in my own way, I have settled down. I may not have the husband and kids to show for it, but I have a pretty cool village of friends that I call family.

This year I headed up a small group of volunteers to landscape The Trousdale School and while I know I probably bit off way more than I can chew, I think we got the bulk of the work done. I had originally scheduled it for this past Wednesday but the other week changed it to yesterday. I would personally like to thank the Big Guy upstairs for the somewhat cooler weather yesterday as well as the idea to change days!

I know nothing about landscaping, nor plants, trees or flowers. I have mistaken weeds as grass before. . .these are things I should never be near! With the help of some awesome coworkers and the best idea from yesterday courtesy of my dad (renting a post hole digger) we got it done. OF course my lower back is in agony at the moment but let’s ignore that for a second.

I have had a lot of experience with demolitions and remodeling. I am comfortable with that kind of heavy labor. I love using the power tools as well. My friends who have enlisted me on their endeavors taught me well and made sure that my happy little self did not harm them, their pets, their homes or myself. I think the reoccurring statement from me in the past has been. . .

How hard can it be? All you have to do is rip this out, lay this down, use this tool and there you go! No problem.

And I used that same thought process as I was working that stupid hole digger thing, while dad kept telling me I couldn’t do it. Well, I did it. Mind you, it wasn’t super easy and once some bigger muscle showed up, I passed it on to him but I did it. Let’s just say I am not a fan of the soil around the south end of town. Red clay and rocks is basically the makeup of this soil. How people get anything to grow there is a mystery to me.

I did manage to get overheated yesterday and the common response from me to dad or anyone else was, “I’M FINE!” Gee, I think I may have some of that K family blood in me after all! But today, the only thing that bothers me is my back. I am sure as I get further into the personal training, I will get a stronger core and this will not be an issue but I think I will stick to home renovations as opposed to landscaping.

When I think of landscaping, I think of digging a hole, dumping the plant and throwing the dirt back on it. But it is so much bigger than that, it is more like, measure out the site, get a map of what you want there, pick of the needed items, lay them out and then you can finally start digging. I think I will stick to raising my cat since I really don’t have a green thumb.

But the best part about yesterday was hanging out with the students, getting hugs and laughing with them. They are just too sweet and I have to say, out of all the volunteering I have done over the years, this is my favorite little project. And I happened to introduce a few coworkers to the school and they have all come away impressed and ready to check in on the school again.

But the next time I start talking about yard work, landscaping or anything that has to do with the outdoors, please tell me to stop. I am still itching just thinking about all the dirt, mud, grass and pollen on me yesterday. Ugh, I was so not made to do that stuff! Give me a sledgehammer and a wall and I am good to go!

• A quick business trip up to Knoxville led to twitches of seeing too much orange. Of all the SEC teams, I just can’t get behind them.
• On that note, part of it must be because my dad is a Texas Longhorn fan, I grew up knowing the difference between burnt orange and Vol orange.
• Strangely, I know my way around Knoxville. I blame my formative years of driving through there and to there for church related meetings. Loved the meetings, the long hours on the road? Not so much.
• I hoofed it to Pei Wei last night for dinner. Oh my! How I have missed you!
• I stepped into my first Super Target and called my mom to let her know if she didn’t hear from me in two hours to send out a search team. Way too much Target, sensory overload.
•  Since I had to head up early yesterday to setup for the meeting I moved my training session up a few hours. Never workout a couple hours after eating. . .
• While I asked my trainer to go easy on me since I was driving and all, he worked my arms out so much that I now have muscles (defined and all!) in my forearms. Watchout Michelle Obama! I am going to have killer arms just like you!
• I just hope they don’t turn out to be like Madonna’s, those are scary.
• I talked to Hooch last night, way overdue chat! I miss her!
• Oh, Hooch is my twin, three years separated. And since I am way of age now, I can now disclose she is the one that gave me the guidelines to drinking. Always eat first!
• Umm, sorry mom.
• I got a thorough balling out by Wook when I arrived back at the apartment this afternoon.
• And small confession, on my way out of Knoxville I stopped at Pei Wei to have a late lunch. . .
• To be fair to myself, I didn’t get to have breakfast this morning since I got a biometric screening and they cleared up the buffet before I got a chance to grab anything.
• I know that my training sessions have been working, I can tell in my stamina, my clothes and my self esteem but. . .
• My numbers for cholesterol, triglycerides and the like are all DOWN!!!!!
• Let me say that again, THOSE NUMBERS ARE DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• My weight is still hanging at the same spot but muscle weighs more than fat and quite frankly I think the scale will start dropping again soon. No magic beans needed! Just sweat, hard work, self control and that stupid liquid called H2O.
• And drum roll please. . . I am not 5’1″ thank you very much! I am 5′ 1 1/2″ WOOT!
• I am tall baby!

So I will leave you with I am tall, my numbers are going down, my cat is disgruntled and I need to convince myself that it is indeed only Tuesday evening. Darn it!

I have grown out of some of my allergies and others like to hang in there just for the fun of it. Several years ago I had many small bites on the tops of my feet. I thought they were bug bites or chiggers but after a week they spread all the way up my body. Several months later I finally learned that it was poison ivy and it took forever to get rid of, since then I am usually cautious about my interactions with the outdoors.

A month or so ago I noticed that I kept breaking out at my hairline, small clusters of bumps that itched. I kept thinking it was all the sweating from working out clogging my pours. I tried my old standby from Clinique to rid myself of the acne. It wouldn’t go away. So then I tried Benedryl Gel for Kids (don’t get the one for adults, it does nothing!) thinking that would clear it up. Still nothing.

Then it decided to spread around my scalp, behind my ears and at the nape of my neck. And I was itchy! And when my glasses would hit the section behind my ears that would hurt. After finally admitting that nothing was helping and quite frankly I was over the itchy thing weeks ago I went to see my doctor. Bless her, it seems like I am always in there for random things instead of the normal things.

A foam and a strong antihistamine later, I am less itchy but this stuff has yet to disappear. Although it really helps the naps happen more often and longer. That stuff always makes me sleepy.

Bird is convinced I have cooties. And I have to laugh because this was the biggest insult one to give to you in grade school. My cooties are apparently caused by some allergen in the air mixed with the massive amounts of sweat. I also have a nice patch on my wrist. I will say this though, this is much better than the excema I dealt with a few years ago. This is somewhat hidden. Then? I looked like a poster child for when bad skin happens to good people.

I could go the route of seeing an allergist and getting the skin testing done but really, I just don’t see the point. I know my skin is sensitive and has many issues. I would prefer not to have to add more medications to my routine, more lotions or potions and then still have to worry about getting into something that might break me out.

Instead I will look for a bubble that I can crawl into and go about life that way. Sure, it will be hard to get into my car and drive, snuggling with the cat will be difficult and of course, should something shocking happen I go on a date? How embarrassing would that be for a first date? So sorry Joe! I really am not this robust but this bubble really helps with the cooties!

On second thought, I am thinking the cooties would scare the guy off as well! Another reason to put on the list of why I am still single! And I doubt my trainer would be forgiving if I said I couldn’t do a particular exercise due to the bubble. He’s kind of sneaky that way, if you say something is easy or you don’t particularly like something, he makes you do it ten fold! And I pay for this? Oy Vey! The things I will do to get healthy!

Oh and just for a little “go me” I have to brag. My madras dress that I got a billion years ago at Target and wore out on the infamous 21st birthday outing for my friend’s sister? Where I looked completely out of sync with the hipster kids? I can get that bad boy down over my hips again! I still need to lose quite a bit more before I wear it as a dress again (instead of as a long shirt) but dude! I can get it over my hips!

Then we are off to work on my legs. . .apparently I was rocking the 110 pounds of weight doing leg presses so the next round he opted to take it to 200 pounds. Kids, do not try this at home. On and on we went through the paces until we landed on the mat to do running bridges (at least I think that is what it is called). Basically I am kind of in a pushup stance but I have my butt sticking up in the air a bit more and then I alternate legs jumping up and down.

That is when my shirt opted to work it’s way up my body. Now it would have been fine if it was just my back showing, I mean a little back fat doesn’t hurt anyone. . . but the shirt was flying up in front as well. My poor gut was showing and I was praying that my trainer would hurry up and yell stop AND that no one noticed the food gut that was bouncing around like a bowl full of jelly.

And to make matters worse, after tucking the shirt in the back of my pants, there was still an attempt to show some skin! Oh the humanity! I apologize to everyone that might have witnessed this at the Y because ghostly white skin and fat isn’t a good look.

And bless him, he is still trying to work on my coordination and grace. I think I would rather do the crunches/plank combo 100 times than trying to improve my coordination.

I am happy to report that despite the scale not really moving at the moment, I am changing shape. Oh happy day! And I can even ask guys if they would like to go see the gun show, my arms are getting so toned! HA!

• How to make sure your Monday starts off with a bang? Have a panic attack in the middle of the night! It has been quite some time since I had a middle of the night panic attack, good times.
• Par for the course, I haven’t a clue what triggered the silly thing.
• I managed to talk myself down from the panic without the use of my safety meds or running to the ER. I have made strides since that first major one in 2007.
• I also got to enjoy a nice headache courtesy of the pollen yesterday afternoon, a dose of Advil and I was headache free by the time I hit the gym.
• My trainer is still trying to work on my coordination skills, I have to make sure he understands that my clumsiness actually works for blog fodder.
• I did step on the scale yesterday morning, more out of curiosity than anything else. . .no change in weight but. . .
• I did manage to get into one of my favorite pairs of khakis today that are a size 12! I may not be losing a ton of weight right now but my fat is turning into a solid mass of muscle.
• If you are in the market for a 5’1″ bodyguard, I am your girl!
• I should not watch Love It or List It on HGTV, besides the fact that the realtor can’t pick houses to save his life that are actually a good match with the family, the lady that offers of renovations hasn’t a clue what it takes for an actual reno. There are always surprises and over the top promises that cannot be delivered.
• My BFF Stace and her hubby have been talking about adding on for years and with all of this HGTV watching I am itching to rip some walls down and some floors up!
• I am really good with a hammer and a reciprocating saw!
• After eating breakfast with Sonia and family the other weekend I cannot get enough eggs. This always happens when I visit with her and have breakfast.
• The best part? Son reminding me to make sure the scrambled eggs are well done. Apparently no longer living nearby makes her forget that I used to cook them to her specs for ages.
• She still loves my spaghetti prepared via the microwave. This was a college staple for us and apparently I was really good at getting enough salt in the water.
• I no longer cook it in the microwave, it pays to have an apartment with a kitchen!
• My delusions of dancing with Maks on Dancing with the Stars is back and in full force. This means it must be time for me to try Zumba again so I can remind myself that I am not that person!

I guess I need to get ready for bed so I can snuggle up to the Wook and watch some tv. I am a bit tired and today seemed to drag on forever. And I have a training session tomorrow evening which means there will be more crying from me. It hurts but I have to say it is worth it. And I just might get to earn some extra money as a bodyguard in the future.

I read Bloom by Kelle Hampton earlier this month, between the tears, laughter and sweetness of Hampton’s words and pictures; I finally figured out how to describe those precious friends I have in Nashville.

So, to borrow from Hampton, these people, these wonderful friends are a part of my net. The net that catches me when I fall or have a bad day. They make me laugh uncontrollably and accept that I am quite silly. With a simple, one sentence email from any of them, I know I need to rally the troops, tell them I love them and offer up virtual hugs until we can get in the same zip code. And then? Amid the talk, laughter and my silliness, ample hugs and I love yous.

They were there for me when I was dealing with female problems and had to have Charlie and Dexter (the only two things to come out of my uterus and yes, I named them) removed. I always joke about their mother hen tendencies but even now, having not seen them daily for two years, having them all cluck around me makes me quite happy.

Lady, Tuby Ruesday, Debbie Do, Cherry, Shy & The Queen

We talk about our lives, our jobs, family and normally the stories of how I consistently pick the wrong man. I take Chandler out of this list because I am still quite protective of him. What happened between us could not be helped. As much as I like to fix things and make them all better.

We also talked about dreams, possibilities as well as a very wild trip that Cherry and her family took the other month. These ladies have been my net for a good portion of my life in Nashville. I have a motley crew of friends and each one means so much to me. Who can say that their BFF opted out of a quiet evening reading Harry Potter in order to sit in the ER while I was freaking out. Or the moment Jorge dumped me without me seeing it coming, two sweet friends came running with food, wine and hugs.

I have been very lucky and blessed to have so many friends that have always willing to catch me as I was falling. What ever happens in the future, what zip codes we life in, you will all mean so terrible much to me. I will be there for hugs, love and food.

I love each of you and my Queen, my life would be princess less had you not adopted me into your royal court. I owe so much to you. My only suggest is when we go traipsing out is to maybe cut the conversation for a bit until we make the right turns. And mom, I know my way around Nashville, it is just kind of difficult when you get the Queen and I together.

To my ladies, I love you each. You may tease me all you like because if you didn’t it would mean you no longer cared.