Tuesday Randomness

After some interesting games this past weekend I figured I would be in the clear for an uneventful week. But like with most things in my life, something odd always pops up.

  • After running a few errands Saturday, I came home and camped out on the couch for football. . .it was a sad day, Texas and Georgia lost
  • I kept staring at the tree, trying to pluck up the energy to get the rest of the ornaments on
  • And then I rubbed my eye. . .
  • It was sore, really sore. I went to the bathroom, removed my makeup and inspected my eye.
  • Nothing was amiss, no bloodshot eyes, no eye boogies, anything; the soreness could best be explained as it felt like a bruise
  • I tried to keep my hands off of my eye and got ready for bed
  • I woke up the next morning, the corner of my eye was still really sore but the pain jutted up the nose and around to the start of my eyebrow. . .HUH?
  • There was some bruising but again, the eye itself was fine. I popped some ibuprofen, got ready and headed out to pick up Stace for the football game
  • All I can say about the Titans/Texans game is, well the seats were awesome and the weather was perfect but the consistency of the Titans was lacking
  • Towards the end of the game the pain had gone down and around my cheek. This is all on the right side of my face.
  • After a restless night of trying to keep enough ibuprofen in me, I broke down and called my doctor
  • This pain just isn’t normal, I have had a million sinus infections but this was nothing like those in the past
  • A visit to my doctor, where I stumped her, they threw out possibilities of very few options, none of which sounded appealing, starting with a CT Scan
  • Finally I walked out with a round of antibiotics with a promise to monitor the pain and let them know what was going on Wednesday
  • Two days of antibiotics down and I feel much better, I am still tender, the swelling has gone down and the bruising is not noticible
  • I am beginning to think I need to become a science experiement
  • Dad added another item to his Christmas list. . . I believe I know where I get this from
  • I am finally below 180lbs. . . I now weigh 179
  • I still have a lot of work to do but I am losing it and that helps me feel better
  • I have to make peanut butter chocolate balls for Bird, these might be the death of me
  • I am also making a birthday cake for my BFF, I can’t wait to see how I do with the frosting–it has been awhile
  • I am watching all kinds of Christmas movies in between football, I am also getting a bit sad that football is winding down
  • The sad panda face might be coming out soon

And I am begging Mother Nature to please, please get the weather under control. It needs to be much cooler than it is. . . I don’t want to wear shorts and flip flops now. So bring on the snow!

Tuesday Randomness

I’m a slacker, what can I say? But it’s Tuesday and I probably have a ton of randomness sitting in my head, so here it goes. . .

  • I am so over 80* weather around here, it’s late October, I want fall, pretty leaves, layers and not having to dress like it is still summer
  • I have kind of gotten back on the wagon in terms of weight loss and I am still considering using my Dyson for liposuction
  • I hit Radnor Lake Sunday morning, I think it took longer to find a place to park than it did to walk
  • I was focused on the walk, my iPod kicking out Def Leppard tunes and finished the almost three miles in 50 minutes
  • Considering how horrible I have been in terms of watching what I eat and exercising, I will take that time. . . for now
  • There are moments in my life when I think I have been kicked back into a high school drama
  • All I have to say is, when you hit your 30s it is time to grow up
  • Just like Charlie Brown, I will, someday, some how, kick that $u&*ing football, watch out Lucy
  • There is only one downfall to my job, the paper that I use to print everything out on. . . I have a small forest in my office
  • A Christmas miracle happened, I got reservations at Catbird Seat
  • I CANNOT wait to go, the Queen will be my date for the evening!
  • I got my Scentsy stuff this past weekend, it smells so yummy!
  • I voted today, I have done my civic duty. . .
  • And it makes me even more official as a Davidson County resident

Well, apparently I had a brain fart and can’t remember the rest! That kind of figures but I guess sometimes you just need a break when it comes to writing. Now let’s hope that I can get back into the grove. Until then, Go Steelers!

Tuesday Randomness

Why does it feel like a Thursday evening? I am so confused. . .

  • A quick business trip up to Knoxville led to twitches of seeing too much orange. Of all the SEC teams, I just can’t get behind them.
  • On that note, part of it must be because my dad is a Texas Longhorn fan, I grew up knowing the difference between burnt orange and Vol orange.
  • Strangely, I know my way around Knoxville. I blame my formative years of driving through there and to there for church related meetings. Loved the meetings, the long hours on the road? Not so much.
  • I hoofed it to Pei Wei last night for dinner. Oh my! How I have missed you!
  • I stepped into my first Super Target and called my mom to let her know if she didn’t hear from me in two hours to send out a search team. Way too much Target, sensory overload.
  •  Since I had to head up early yesterday to setup for the meeting I moved my training session up a few hours. Never workout a couple hours after eating. . .
  • While I asked my trainer to go easy on me since I was driving and all, he worked my arms out so much that I now have muscles (defined and all!) in my forearms. Watchout Michelle Obama! I am going to have killer arms just like you!
  • I just hope they don’t turn out to be like Madonna’s, those are scary.
  • I talked to Hooch last night, way overdue chat! I miss her!
  • Oh, Hooch is my twin, three years separated. And since I am way of age now, I can now disclose she is the one that gave me the guidelines to drinking. Always eat first!
  • Umm, sorry mom.
  • I got a thorough balling out by Wook when I arrived back at the apartment this afternoon.
  • And small confession, on my way out of Knoxville I stopped at Pei Wei to have a late lunch. . .
  • To be fair to myself, I didn’t get to have breakfast this morning since I got a biometric screening and they cleared up the buffet before I got a chance to grab anything.
  • I know that my training sessions have been working, I can tell in my stamina, my clothes and my self esteem but. . .
  • My numbers for cholesterol, triglycerides and the like are all DOWN!!!!!
  • Let me say that again, THOSE NUMBERS ARE DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • My weight is still hanging at the same spot but muscle weighs more than fat and quite frankly I think the scale will start dropping again soon. No magic beans needed! Just sweat, hard work, self control and that stupid liquid called H2O.
  • And drum roll please. . . I am not 5’1″ thank you very much! I am 5′ 1 1/2″ WOOT!
  • I am tall baby!

So I will leave you with I am tall, my numbers are going down, my cat is disgruntled and I need to convince myself that it is indeed only Tuesday evening. Darn it!

Tuesday Randomness

Welcome to blackberry winter! While I do love me some cold weather, I would prefer for things to stay about the same. . .trying to figure out what to wear to work each day is tough! But it is Tuesday and that means just a few more days until the weekend!

  • How to make sure your Monday starts off with a bang? Have a panic attack in the middle of the night! It has been quite some time since I had a middle of the night panic attack, good times.
  • Par for the course, I haven’t a clue what triggered the silly thing.
  • I managed to talk myself down from the panic without the use of my safety meds or running to the ER. I have made strides since that first major one in 2007.
  • I also got to enjoy a nice headache courtesy of the pollen yesterday afternoon, a dose of Advil and I was headache free by the time I hit the gym.
  • My trainer is still trying to work on my coordination skills, I have to make sure he understands that my clumsiness actually works for blog fodder.
  • I did step on the scale yesterday morning, more out of curiosity than anything else. . .no change in weight but. . .
  • I did manage to get into one of my favorite pairs of khakis today that are a size 12! I may not be losing a ton of weight right now but my fat is turning into a solid mass of muscle.
  • If you are in the market for a 5’1″ bodyguard, I am your girl!
  • I should not watch Love It or List It on HGTV, besides the fact that the realtor can’t pick houses to save his life that are actually a good match with the family, the lady that offers of renovations hasn’t a clue what it takes for an actual reno. There are always surprises and over the top promises that cannot be delivered.
  • My BFF Stace and her hubby have been talking about adding on for years and with all of this HGTV watching I am itching to rip some walls down and some floors up!
  • I am really good with a hammer and a reciprocating saw!
  • After eating breakfast with Sonia and family the other weekend I cannot get enough eggs. This always happens when I visit with her and have breakfast.
  • The best part? Son reminding me to make sure the scrambled eggs are well done. Apparently no longer living nearby makes her forget that I used to cook them to her specs for ages.
  • She still loves my spaghetti prepared via the microwave. This was a college staple for us and apparently I was really good at getting enough salt in the water.
  • I no longer cook it in the microwave, it pays to have an apartment with a kitchen!
  • My delusions of dancing with Maks on Dancing with the Stars is back and in full force. This means it must be time for me to try Zumba again so I can remind myself that I am not that person!

I guess I need to get ready for bed so I can snuggle up to the Wook and watch some tv. I am a bit tired and today seemed to drag on forever. And I have a training session tomorrow evening which means there will be more crying from me. It hurts but I have to say it is worth it. And I just might get to earn some extra money as a bodyguard in the future.

Tuesday Randomness

Oh how I love short weeks at work! I am lucky that while Good Friday is not considered a paid holiday, the powers that be have opted to close early Friday. This makes Tuesday even sweeter and even my training sessions this week will be seen in a better light! Now on to the randomness that is me!

  • I really like my trainer but that kid is part evil! Due to some scheduling conflicts yesterday my trainer texted me asking if we could move it to 7pm.
  • Apparently he doesn’t realize I am a stick in the mud and once I am in the apartment I don’t like to leave! But after thinking about the change, I opted to go with it since I didn’t want to miss a session nor did I want back to back sessions this week.
  • I decided to warm up with some cardio before he got there but that wasn’t enough for him, no, mean trainer killed my legs last night with sprints up a hill outside. He also added another core exercise into the mix. Once he finished torturing me I looked as if I had taken a shower. I was soaked!
  • I spoke to my twin briefly today; she is calling up our favorite person for lunch next week. OMG! I cannot wait!
  • I was a bit stiff today, so like most days, I take to stretching at my desk. Thank goodness I am in a cubicle where no one can see me!
  • Apparently working out is hard on my feet. A giant blister that was healing (I guess) but in it’s place was a huge section of skin falling off. Gross I know! But after being so nice to the Queen and not sending her any scary pictures, I had to snap this one and send it. The caption? “Think it’s time for a pedi?”
  • The Queen called later, laughing and telling me to do something with those stubs I call feet. I will admit, they are sad looking at the moment. Poor Flintstone feet, they are just so misunderstood!
  • I have to say, after having the upstairs neighbors from hell, I finally have a good one! He says hello, asks how my day was AND is always checking with me to make sure his music isn’t too loud. Got to love neighbors that remember others live there too!
  • I also had to have my baby fix today, so I went to visit my sweet neighbor, the girls and the newest addition, sweet baby J! Oh man, I could just snuggle with him all night. But I have a feeling they might miss him after a bit, plus I think Wook would have a huge issue with something else occupying his momma.
  • I had horrible flashbacks today after watching the footage from Dallas. Let’s just say that when one hit a generator and there was an explosion it took me right back to ’98 when the tornado hit downtown Nashville.
  • I could go for some rain though. . .
  • With the amount of chicken and turkey I am eating, I expect to be moulting soon.
  • I had two people comment on my weight loss today, that makes me smile. Now if it would go faster I would be thrilled but at least this way it won’t double and come back to bite me in the tush.

Oh look at the time! I still need to shower, stretch, pack my lunch and my workout bag for tomorrow. Good times, seems like my world lately revolves around work, food, gym and sleep. I need a vacation!

Tuesday Randomness

Oh sweet Tuesday, sometimes you take forever to get here. This post is brought to you by novicane, temps and multiple dental visits.

  • I feel like my life revolves around going to the dentist. What was supposed to be my last visit for a nice long time last month ended up being rescheduled. . . then I forgot about that appointment. Life happened and I finally got back there today only to learn that the lab still messed up my crown. Seriously?
  • I have a brand new temp on the tooth and if the stars align, I hop on one leg while curling my tongue, I just might get the permanent one next week.
  • For good measure, the dentist opted to numb me up to deal with this troublesome tooth. .  .back on the soup diet again.
  • Chattanooga is in love with the roundabout even though most people don’t understand them. I had the pleasure of driving through one that is still an all sides stop last night. Apparently dude in Camry didn’t think he should have to stop, neither did the two cars before him. He didn’t like me laying on the horn but I am a bit like a New York taxi driver, you cut me off, almost hit me or anything that might seem unpleasent to me and I will lay on it until you turn red.
  • We may have found the answer to mom’s health issues and it all has to do with how she sleeps. She took her first sleep study last night and they said it was terrible. I think I shall start calling her Darth Vadar. . .
  • It is great to know that it isn’t her heart but it is scary to think that in just a few short months she went from doing most of the yard work to walking across the house or running errands caused her to feel really out of breath and tired. That is not my mother. In fact, had she been feeling better a few weeks ago I could only imagine how clean she would have gotten my place to look.
  • Changing my meds seems to be working in terms of weight. Currently I have dropped 23 lbs only, umm, let’s see, 50 to 60 more to go. Why can’t my Dyson help me out with this issue. I am also going to through some money at the isse and take on a personal trainer at the Y. I need someone pushing me, yelling at me. I want to be in my little clothes this summer. I have some things to prove to myself.
  • I haven’t been eating a ton due to being sick and that horrible dark hole that is trying to get me to crawl into it. I don’t want to go there but I see myself retreating. Friends, don’t worry, I will get out of the funk, you just have to let me feel it, work through it and accept it.
  • I found the cutest Lilly Pullitzer patchwork dress on ebay that I most have. . . This is going to be the year of cute clothes, no back fat, more writing, visiting Sonia in Baltimire as well as a visit to Chicgao to visit Candy, I may not make a ton of money but I want to get out there, walk around, emerse myself and write. Oh and hit a few restaurants that make me giddy.
  • After we get mom’s breathing/sleeping situation handled, we will then be planning our girls trip down to St Pete. This isn’t my kind of trip, but mommy loves it, Robin loves it and somewhere in the mix of things I am allowed to drink at night.
  • Some mornings I wake up thinking it was all a bad dream and then I remember it wasn’t. I have good days and bad days. It is more about understanding that those feelings buried deep last summer never went away. I miss him. I should have done better than I did.
  • Each day will get a bit better and my pain is so silly compared to his mom and sisters as well as the kids. I pray for them daily,.
  • I talked to Bubba tonight, what a mess he is. Love him but we both joke how we both dodged that bulliet. He’s happy and doing well. I am so proud of him. Of course he lectured me about choices, I highly believe Bubba and Chandler would have had quite a few laughs at my expense.
  • The crude that I have had for over two weeks now, still here, Maybe it could take me to dinner and a movie, send me tullips at work. A girl can dream.

And now I am off to slumber land. Wook deserves and early bedtime and that means Snuggles!

Tuesday Randomness

Thank goodness for taking an extra day off after vacation. . .the crud that decided to setup camp last week opted to hang with me through vacation and still refuses to leave. It’s back to work I go tomorrow and I hope that it goes fast.

  • I strongly advise to never go on vacation when you are sick. Sinus junk, sure but when you run a low grade fever the whole time, it makes running around a city a bit of a challenge.
  • My normal fast paced walk was nonexistent which irritated me to no end and having a very stuffy head made getting my bearings tough as well.
  • Thank goodness the boy drove the majority of the time there and back
  • I really should have invested in a nightly massage because my legs and feet were not happy campers
  • I highly recommend flying to DC and back instead of driving
  • In two and a half days I hit four museums and the zoo, not to mention eating my way through DC
  • I cannot say enough wonderful things about Jose Andres` and his restaurants, the food, decor and all the little things in two of the restaurants I visited were perfection
  • We lucked out and ended up going to Jaleo the last night it was open before it went under construction for a redesign; I even got a picture with Jose himself
  • His Jaleo Sangria is very yummy
  • At American Eats, everything on the menu was tied to originating in the States (drinks included) and right about now, I could go for the Hamburg sliders. They were created before butchers had the ability to grind the meat so it ends up being chopped up. So good, so juicy
  • I tried my first oyster Friday night and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be; my only complaint, I was still finding sand in my mouth later in the evening
  • I have now become a snot making machine, there really isn’t a great way to sugar coat that, sorry
  • Oh and that lovely fever that stuck with me all weekend? Any type of physical exertion caused me to sweat which isn’t a great look on me. . .
  • I can’t wait until I can get back into the gym and start working out again

And this post has officially taken forever to write, time to go to bed and hope that tomorrow I am not as stuffy and snotty.

I Think I Can, I Think I Can

Well, I can! I hit a rough patch in the whole working out mess around the holidays. Too much to do, too much food around me and oh, those glorious naps! I kept on keeping on going to gym. If I had a bad day in terms of eating, I realized that the next day was a new one and I could start all over again. My struggle with drinking water has now turned into downing water like it is going out of style. My one major complaint though? I have to pee all the time! Like run to pee, sit back down to read or watch a program and five minutes later I have to pee again. Way too much water running through me.

I even have mom on board checking to see if I have been to the gym, reminding me to watch what I eat. . . while there have been times in the past I may have gotten a bit too skinny (think encroaching Olsen twin status) and mom would say I need to gain a bit of weight, I am glad I have someone else asking me if I have gone to the gym today.

The problem that I have is I love food. I pink puffy heart LOVE food. I love to cook, bake, eat, read menus and any kind of cookbook. So the reality is no one needs to tell me if I have gotten too skinny or I need to eat more because that is my gateway drug. No need to tell me twice! Throw me a shovel and I can throw the food back. I enjoy food. And apparently I have since I was little. I was a picky eater but as I have gotten older I am more willing to try things (except mayo, forget it, I won’t touch it).

I am also fortunate that I can make a meal and eat on it for days on end. I don’t get bored of it and it makes the whole work/gym/night routine a bit easier. Thank goodness for this and it also keeps me a bit more sane when I hit up Publix on the weekends.

Now while I still love my coffee and diet coke, I drink more milk and water now than those two combined. That is still shocking me. I woke up yesterday morning and realized I didn’t have any milk for breakfast. The horror! But once I got back from the store yesterday afternoon I guzzled a glass of skim milk like I hadn’t had anything to drink in ages.

To reward myself for good behavior I am heading up to Nashville in a couple of weeks to celebrate my birthday a couple of days early with friends. I can’t wait to see everyone and of course I have a certain lake I am going to be hitting up to walk. I cannot wait! Oh Radnor Lake how I miss you and your charm throughout the year. I took you for granted the whole time I lived there.

I will be heading home to visit that motley crew of friends I call family. I will also get to cash in my first reward from the boy. I am leaning towards a pair of Uggs because man, oh man, I would like some of those. But who knows. We will also be discussing in depth all the restaurants we want to try while in DC next month.

And see, there goes that food tangent! I am hoping to have some good results from the eating better and exercising by the time we hit DC so I can walk all over the place and not feel tired from the weight I carry. I also would like to be in decent shape so when I hit the zoo my favorite silver back ape will remember me. This will be my third visit to the zoo and I feel like I have a special connection with this particular ape. I know, it sounds crazy but it is true.

So me and my train are still climbing up that hill but it is all about knowing that I can do this and I will do this. I may be a sweaty, stinky mess that is sore from working out daily but I will be glad to rid myself of this belly and some of my thighs.

Until then I am still trying to figure out a way to hook the Dyson up to me and suck the fat out. A girl can dream!

Running and the Invitable Onslaught of Thoughts

I have to give myself some props, I have actually managed to run a portion of my 2 1/2 mile walk without wanting to collaspe. This is quite a milestone for me because I hate to run, my joints remind me why I don’t run and oh, yeah, I HATE to run. But pushing myself, driving myself to the edge is something that I do best when I am upset.

And while my IPod is playing some of my favorite songs, songs that become the soundtrack to my life, I go into that dark space. The space that says I am a loser, no one wants to be with me and God forbid if the thought of being in a happy, committed relationship comes across my mind. I must be damaged in a way that even I can’t see and I wish that I could because maybe I could fix it.

I am not clingy, nor bossy. I tend to keep hurt feelings to myself or feel the need to throwup while trying to share those hurt feelings with others. I may never get it or understand why me, little ole goofy me, can’t find someone that can just love me unconditionally. Apparently the joke I used to share about being a disaster is quite true and who really wants to step into that mess?

I have one friend who has offered to set me up on blind dates. . . umm, think I will pass on that one. Part of it is, I hate to date but the biggest reason is my heart still belongs to someone else. I wish I could get it back, kind of like the stuff I left there, forgot to get and now they are probably in the trash bin.

And the final thought I had as I was finishing up my little exercise routine yesterday morning, I don’t want to trust anyone else, again. While I may seem like this big, fluffy puppy dog, ready to jump on you and love you, I am quite a mess on the inside. So scared to go forward but terified to be left behind. I am terribly insecure and letting myself believe that someone loved me and then proves that umm, not really, leaves me in a puddle of tears. And the only way to make myself feel better is to push my muscles to the extreme, exercise like it is going out of style and worrying about every little bity thing I put in my mouth.

I may feel like crap on the inside but at least I can be skinny again. . .

I’m Shredding Ya’ll. . .

Oh dear, what did I get myself into? A little back history about me and my body. We have a love/hate relationship. My family has health issues, weight issues and I got a bit of both in my genes. And I love to cook, read cookbooks and just to prove how much of a freak I can be, I love to read restaurant menus. No joke and to make my love of food go a bit further, I plan my trips to NYC and Washington DC around the restaurants that I will visit.

I have seen the scale go up and down several times in the past few years and I know it is not healthy but it seems like life distracts me and the next thing I know, clothes don’t fit anymore. So I have been trying a bit of everything the past few months. The boy was trying to encourage me but I just got frustrated and bored with the diet and exercise plan. In fact, he was also a great cook and loved food just as much as I do. . .

After the stresses of the past couple of months, my stomach decided to revolt. I eat and then end up feeling really sick to my stomach, which prompts me to stop eating. So my meals have been cut into the smallest portion known to man. Bad for my health but helpful when trying to lose weight. I have lost 13lbs so far and need to get quite a few more off before I consider this a success.

Since the weather got so hot so quickly, walking is not on my top list of things to do. I miss it but the humidity here is quite thick and I can’t deal with it so I did the next best thing. . .

I read on Suburban Turmoil about The 30 Day Shred and realized that my hatred of the gym and my inability to workout for hours at a time was a huge barrier for me. So off I went to Target to get this so called 2o minute workout. . .it was going to be easy. I mean really, I have worked out for a couple of hours at a time, this couldn’t be bad. . .

I was wrong. I was bright red, dripping sweat and questioning my ability to even walk three feet when I finished the first workout. And then the shower, OMG, I thought I was going to fall my legs were shaking so badly. Who is this Jillian Michaels and what is her phone number????? I went into work the next day walking very slowly and with each movement I winced. It was bad. After that one little workout, I thought I had finished a marathon.

The next few days were filled with winces, shrieks and curses to Jillian. When I tried the program again, it wasn’t as bad but with each workout I have felt a bit better. My muscles hurt but in the good way. I can see where the weight is coming off although I wish I could just use an eraser to get rid of my thighs. They are huge and don’t really go down that much when I do get the weight off.

But I am shredding and with each “just five more seconds” from Jillian, I am thinking of ways to torture her. I will only rethink this plan if I get back into my skinny jeans. . .