Thought I would add a face to the blog. I got a new laptop this past spring (thanks mom and dad!) and have most of my pictures on an external drive since my other laptop crashed and burned. Not to be melodramatic but I was devastated when this happened. I sobbed and then feared that my life, as I knew it, would be over.
The pictures also show my various weight issues although I don’t have a picture I am willing to share at this time of my fattiness just a few short months ago. Hey, a girl has the right to protect herself from the laughs and well the judgment (of myself, not others).
But I share these with you (all one of you probably) to show just how silly I can be and to let you see me in the two cities that I love.
Life is rolling along, almost a month until my surgery and I am not the least bit nervous. Why, I have no idea but knowing that the outcome has to be better than what I have felt the past few years helps me see that I am almost done with this crappy fibroid. And yes, I have named him (Charlie) only because that might be the only thing that ever resides in my uterus.
As for the darkness, still there but I have rekindled my love affair with exercising and am finding that therapeutic. Walking is my favorite form of exercising but I have been drawn to the pool as well. Jillian and her Shredding is still around but I have found that getting out of my apartment helps more than those 20 minutes of hell. I have time to think, ponder, dread, dream and pray. Sometimes those prayers are all about getting my fat butt back home because, Oh Dear Lord that sun is soooo hot, my legs are ready to murder me and I just really want to fall into the grass and hope that someone, anyone will pick my sorry self up and transport me home. That was just last night’s prayer time. Seriously, the humidity was killing me and I should have known better but I am a bit stubborn so I guess I deserved that torture.
But I do appreciate the tired and achy muscles and the knowledge that a shower will be happening soon, along with bedtime and cuddling my sweet cat means that I have made it through another day.