I Miss Having Energy


Today was my first day back at full days and can I just say, I am beat. Seriously, eyes can barely stay open and by the end of the day my belly was twice it’s normal size and cramping. I am normally running through the office, doing numerous tasks at once all the while thinking about 100 different other tasks I need to take care of. . . but since my surgery. . . well I am lucky if I can speak coherently and get one task accomplished and remember the next task I need to do.

This is beyond difficult and all the while I have a major event I am trying to plan while appeasing my boss by starting back full days to pick up what I need to do instead of him. It bothers me that I am having such a hard time at getting back to normal. Add that to my mental state in terms of love lost and well, it is no wonder that I am a big ole mess.

I don’t do slow, my mind normally is running all of the time and multi-tasking is my thing. That is why I am having such a hard time getting back into the grove. In an ideal world, I would have waited until late October, after my event and had the surgery but it seemed like such an easy fix that getting it over with was the best thing for me to do. Now I wish I had pushed it off until then because after that I would have had some time to sit, focus and be okay with being slower.

I think that if the weather is decent this weekend and the temps are actually lower than right now, I am going to go for a walk. Maybe pushing myself, especially the energy aspect of it will increase my energy level. Because right about now, I am ready to hurt someone. And that someone will more than likely be me cause I don’t do needy, helpless, can’t do a thing cause I need to rest. That irritates me. Very badly.

Oh and a quick prayer request for those that pray; my dad is having minor surgery Friday and as of right now he is miserable, so pray that he will start feeling better and that the surgery goes off without a hitch and that recovery time for him is quicker than mine.

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