A weekend full of football, Fantasy Football leagues set and ready to go, college games playing at all times of the day and night and my beloved Steelers kicking off the regular season Thursday, equals good times around here. Well sort of. . .
I am thankful for the long weekend, the pleasant weather, a cute dog that I watched and for an extra cuddly cat but. . .
Had I not made the choices I made this past May, I would have been at the Ole Miss game, cheering them on with the boy. I am a Georgia fan but after being with him, learning about the players, the coaches and the traditions, I root for the Rebels. I still root for the Dawgs, although let’s not talk about yesterday’s game, I am still having issues and may need some therapy for that. But I do like Ole Miss, partly because of the knowledge I gained from the boy and partly because they are not a team in the SEC that chaps my hide (like say Tennessee, Alabama or Florida).
Growing up I didn’t think that there were other conferences since hell, I was raised in the SEC but I at least knew there was another UT out there (Hook Em Horns!) thanks in no small part to my dad. I also understood the difference between that hideous Vol orange and burnt orange. Did you know that many people in SE TN didn’t realize the difference and would give my dad something handmade that said Texas but it was in the horrible, vomit inducing bright orange.
Anyway, I digress. I have been looking forward to fall and football but there is an emptyness inside me that makes me remember plans that were made and a game that we would see, together with his wonderful friends and we would cheer, discuss and enjoy a great game.
There are so many things I still miss about him, those moments when he would let his guard down and just look at me like there was no one else that mattered. Cooking together, talking about football, watching his passion for Ole Miss bubble up the closer the season got. And yet, here I am, alone, not interested in finding someone else nor the ability to reach out to friends to say, hey, I am really struggling here and could use some friends right about now. I had plans with one friend who wanted to do a girls night out but unfortunately a migraine decided to wreak havoc with her weekend, so I have been hanging at home.
The good news, Ole Miss beat Memphis, Thursday is NFL day at the office, Friday is tailgate day (and yes, I am wearing my Ole Miss shirt) and it is a short week.
The bad news, he isn’t with me and it doesn’t look like he ever will be again.
Stumbling Through Life 