I am a klutz. There is no way around denying it. Some may find it funny, others may find my lack of gracefulness endearing, while others see me for the dork I really am.
Yesterday I was trying to get a couple things done at the office and gather my keys, phone and purse before tripping off to Best Buy to pick up my laptop. The front desk called and told me that I had a visitor that wanted to drop off a donation for our party. Okay, no problem. I hop off my chair and trip on my computer cord, only catching myself before I fell to the floor.
This morning I was in the middle of an email frenzy when I looked at the clock and realized that I was late to a meeting. I am always late, no matter what I do. . .I swiftly get up and hit the door so I can get to the conference room before getting paged to the meeting. I walk in and literally trip over my own feet.
Daily I walk through doors throughout the office and daily I manage to miss the handle only to walk into the door, chip a nail or make a horrible banging noise trying to get the door open.
I trip on imaginary things outside, I try to hop over the dirt that has washed over the stone walkway and twist my ankle and walking to my car I will roll my foot so it looks as if I am going to fall down.
People, this is my life. A sad one. Because I am either trying to fall or running into someone. I wish I had some grace. There are days when I think I have a really cute outfit on and am feeling pretty good about it when I either spill something on myself or trip.
I should be starring in a sitcom, where the witless heroine is constantly serving up a dose of klutziness. The pratfalls I could do and all without trying. It could also showcase my consistently crappy luck with love. Who wouldn’t love to watch that weekly? I could even get the letter L for loser tattooed on me.
And to add insult to injury, it could focus on my struggle with my weight and my love of food. Because any good comedian knows that being able to laugh at the struggles in your life makes for good television. Now if I could just find a tv exec that could help me with this, I could at least make some money.