Somehow I have ended up with a ton of magazine subscriptions, thanks in no small part to the frequent flyer miles I have accumulated in the past but couldn’t use for a ticket. I fly when I travel but it has been awhile and traveling for my employer doesn’t happen since my traveling days are limited to my state.
But I get all kinds of magazines. Some sit piled in the corner never to be read; others get read when I have nothing else to read. Last night I picked up the latest issue of Glamour to flip through. I actually enjoyed it, the Jake column always makes me giggle; there was an article about using real women (aka the dreaded plus size models, really, they aren’t fat, they look normal, the other models look like toothpicks) which I really enjoyed and made me appreciate my body (well for two seconds anyway) and finally on article that stopped me in my tracks.
I have been proud to say that I have not settled when it comes to men in my life. I know what I want but apparently the guys that I date don’t want that with me. But this article made me gasp, you need to settle??? Really, here I was thinking all this time that I was on the right path. That I was standing up for what I want in a mate and this article totally made me feel like a jerk.
Then I read it. . . yep, I made those judgements before reading it. It happens. The article made sense. It says that we women are not 10s so stop trying to make a guy be a 10. Harsh? Possibly but it went further. It said that no one is perfect, that we should look for those 8s and appreciate them because before too long then we would really have to settle for those 4s and 5s.
I can say that the boy wasn’t a 10 but I CAN say that he was funny, charming, polite and we had much in common. The issues had to do with (at least from my point of view) his lack of experience in a long term relationship and the fear of really committing. The last part is totally an assumption on my part. I still think he is a great guy and part of me regrets ending it instead of working on it through communication. But he didn’t really fight for me either which bothers me to this day.
But the bottom line is, sometimes we search for that perfect mate and forget to stop and smell the roses. I guess that is what I need to start doing from now on. If only I were brave. . .baby steps people, baby steps.