I will update more on Liam once I get the latest update and feel like a heel for even posting something other than Liam’s health but. . .
I am frustrated. As I have sat praying, worrying and being there for my friends this past week, the other thought crept up in my mind. I wish that I had a significant other to lean on during all of this. I had sounding so selfish because my struggles in life are nothing compared to what Stacey and Jason are going through.
But as I was sitting and watching something on tv, I realized that what I had been thinking about the boy is probably wrong. It is not his fault that he didn’t want to be with me, maybe he was even relieved when I bailed. I set him up to fail. I should have been honest from the start and when it seemed kind of questionable, I should have left then.
I want a man that is going to be there for me, through thick and thin. When I am feeling chubby, he doesn’t mind and one that cares about me just as much as I care about him. Finding him is the hard part. I just don’t know how to go about it anymore. Plus, trusting and opening up to someone new is beyond difficult.
As I stumble through life, trying to find my way, I keep asking God what the plan is but I know that he answers in his own time. Not mine. Which then comes my own problem because I am not someone that can sit and wait. I get anxious.
I am hoping that with most of my thoughts consumed with Liam that I will at least be distracted and not notice that only one I am coming home to is my cat. I love that little booger but sometimes you need more. Just don’t tell Wookie that please. . .it could get ugly around here.