Yep, I am going there and will get an ear full more than likely. Having a parent find your blog is kind of weird. I want to be able to post without editing my posts to death. In this vain, well, mom, just turn a deaf ear please. Sometimes your kids will say things that will make you cringe. And you know what? If I ever have kids I know I will get payback.
Let’s start with my dad. Now my dad is the man who probably ruined it for any man out there to try to come into my life. This is the man that kept me when I was sick since his work schedule was easiest to deal with. He also got stuck taking me to the orthodontist for my appointments. He always encouraged me to be my own person and that I should only rely upon myself. He also got me anything I wanted until things got a bit too expensive. Apparently, me doing anything with him or my Popa could cause dread, worry and some anger in terms of mom and Granny.
He was a military brat and swears he is a Texan. Okay dad, whatever you say, I am just saying that on my birth certificate, where it says father’s birth city it states very clearly Bronx, NY. Hell yes! His father was, well, one of those tough and tumble kinds of guys. Apparently his way of teaching his kids to swim was to throw them in the water and say swim. Or at least that is how I remember the story being told.
Dad can swim, he can doggy paddle and for all intents and purposes, that is swimming. As long as you are floating and not sinking, you can swim. Unfortunately, the man is terrified of deep water. He used to be willing to go into a pool, the shallow end of course, as long as the rope dividing the shallow from the deep was there. The ocean? He went in (according to mom) until it hit his ankles. So brave that man.
He is terrified of flying and has only flown a handful of times. I still don’t get it but he refuses. At this point, I am willing to shoot him with a dart gun full of Xanax to get him on a plane. At this point, I think he even hates going to the airport because what if someone grabs him and throws him on a plane? Not likely but still, his fears are funny.
The last one that I can think of right now should really be the one that everyone laughs at because it is stupid. Nonny, his grandmother, had said at one point that eating cranberry sauce would cause cancer. I have only seen him eat it once and it was because it was all tricked out and he didn’t realize it until it was all gone and I said something to him about it. The Thanksgiving joke is to pass him the cranberry sauce and see him shake his head wildly, saying no thanks. I guess dad didn’t get the memo that there are about a million things that can cause cancer.
My mom’s fears are really quite simple and while I try to push her to fight against it, well, it doesn’t really work. She is scared of the interstate. I think she was always on edge about it but when my uncle was killed after a wreck on the interstate, well, back roads are a must. And my friends wonder why she and dad didn’t visit me often when I lived in Nashville. She hates the larger cities and the traffic and well, the easiest way to get there is by interstate. Oh, and she will not let dad drive! Dad likes to look at the stuff on the sides of the roads. I can remember many a trip to the mountains with mom yelling his name telling him to pay attention to the road.
My fears? Well, I don’t really have any. I used to love to go across the swinging bridge at Rock City, I can’t anymore. Something about hitting my 30s kind of messed with my head. I had my one, it was my fault wreck within three weeks of living in Chattanooga. That has not stopped me from driving on the interstate. My only concern is for those who are incapable of driving around here. At least in Nashville, everyone can drive, at least to a certain extent.
The things that have stopped me from being way too adventurous fall into the common sense category (no, I will not jump out of an airplane if it is working just fine, thank you very much). I also have inherited my granny’s faulty electrical wiring of my heart and my dad’s (and his dad’s too) panic attacks. The electrical wiring thing I don’t really understand but that is why my heart likes to flutter from time to time. It is a weird feeling. The panic attacks almost caused me to come up with irrational fears. The first week after being diagnosed (correctly) I panicked each and every time I had to go home and get ready for the evening. I had been living on my own for forever and all of the sudden I was scared to be there. Thankfully I had friends that took me in that week and another friend who stayed over a night or two. I also woke my dad with middle of the night phone calls freaking out so he could help me talk myself down.
Once I got those panic attacks under control I realized that being scared of stuff was kind of pointless. Of course, being medicated daily also helps with this. Sure, I am scared of putting myself out there but that is more about failure than anything else. I have my ways of controlling them should they come up and if all else fails, I have medication that I can take.
But being scared to drive or fly somewhere or to walk out into the ocean or even going to NYC by myself? No worries whatsoever. It is kind of nice but some people look at me strange, including my parents. While I do not have a death wish, I am not scared of death. I know that God will watch over me and that if I do mess up and get scared, I call on my angel, like I have done ever since I was really small.
But I still have to wonder about my dad’s fear of cranberry sauce, really? Nonny was kind of a nut, I wouldn’t take what she said as the gospel truth. Oh well, he is stuck in his ways. Just like mom likes to find every freaking back road. . . I play games on my phone if I ride with them anywhere. It passes the time and I don’t notice what she is doing.