If you have read this blog for any length of time, you know my track record with men. It blows. I pick the wrong ones every single time, but each time, it does get a little better. Baby steps people. I had a crush last fall/winter that worked in my building. He is terribly shy but from time to time we would both be outside. One of those times I was in my Halloween getup. . .
I actually kind of like the outfit because it fits my personality to a T. And before you think naughty thoughts, I was Mary Katherine Gallagher, the klutzy, goofy character on SNL.
Well, after much prodding and basically shaming me since I was almost to full stalker alert trying to figure out who my crush was, etc., I emailed him. Look, two shy people aren’t going to do well chatting it up when it comes to seeing if both are single and interested.
I asked him out for a drink but he while he said he would like to, he had a girlfriend. It took a few hours for my coworkers to convince me to crawl back out from underneath my desk. We traded emails a few times that day and the next but in one of his emails he said he dug the outfit from Halloween. He had happened to see me do my “Super Star” pose and was smiling.
Other women might woo their men with their sexiness, me? I reel them in with my goofiness. So I chalked it up to at least I tried and then I had to move. . .
A couple of weeks ago Amy texted me all excited, seems my long forgotten crush is now single. After more prodding from Stacey and the reality of the chances of having to come face to face with him and turn bright red should he reject me again, I finally emailed him.
And while we talked a lot about golf, I kind of joked about going for a drink when I was in town but knew that he was taken, so oh well (can’t act that needy and ready to pounce). He said that he and the girlfriend had broken up two months ago. And yes, he would like to go and have a drink with me. I was very nice, stating that I was sorry that things had ended, because, well, that is what I do. He emails me back with an Aww, you’re sorry? I thought you wanted to go and have a drink with me.
Busted. So I guess now I have to figure out when and where and email him. This makes me all kinds of nervous. It is that whole, we need to get to know each other first before we really dive in kind of thing. I thought to break the ice I could just wear my outfit but somehow, I think that I would look a bit out of place in a bar with that outfit on.
At least my hair is growing back out, I can keep it in my face to hide my nervousness. That’s my thing, I can’t help it. I can even hear my mom telling me to push it out of my face.
Oh and mom, since you now know about this blog, ignore this one, okay? For me? Because there is nothing worse than having an epic fail and then having to answer to your mom, even when you are 36 years old.
I am hoping that the Queen has some thoughts on this or even my Nashville friends. I am going to be a bundle of nerves. And as I emailed Stacey, things would be much easier if I just took him to their place, let them do the once over and then tell me whether to make an effort or not. Seems her hubby has better radar than either of us.
And if he owns jhorts? I am out of there. I don’t care that I have crushed on him this long, I can’t deal with that.
Stumbling Through Life 
So, welcome to my club! I’ve had a crush on the same guy for almost 5 years. He lives in another city but comes to visit family 3-4 times a year and we see each other then.
Here’s what I’ve learned about guys:
1. Be yourself. You don’t want to be anyone else because if you do end up on a second date, he needs to see the same, wonderful you!
2. Be friends first. Our society forgets to remind folks that you need to have a basis for a good relationship first. I’d much rather have a good friend than a failed romance. Hope to be a good friend, nothing more. If more happens, then you’ve hit the grand slam of relationships.
3. Women overthink everything. Don’t sit around and dream up every possible scenario about what this guy is thinking. He’s already said he wants to have drinks with you! And he was also hopeful that you were still interested.
I’ve never considered you shy, but understand there are those of us who are not shy in every other situation except with a man. Relax and enjoy yourself. What have you got to lose?
I most anxiously await the wisdom of our Queen too!
Your friend, Princess Anna Banana
I love you!!!!! You have got to be one of the sweetest people I know! And maybe we can get the Queen to have a drink Thursday afternoon, I will be crashing at her place, so I will check with her.
I am only shy when it comes to being around new people or if it is a guy I am interested in. And then my level of dorkiness hits an all time high.
Count me in – drinks with you and the Queen would be outstanding!
PS – message me on FB. And I doubt you are a dork.
Please, I am, as Stacey put it, dorky with a hint of cool. I don’t mind being a dork. I think I have kind of come into my own and accepted it. I use it to my advantage since most people do find it endearing.
You need to have the attitude that HE is lucky to be there with you.
Own it, girl. You’ll be great!
Heather,
I just love you! Your attitude rocks and I am going to try to own it! I will update LJ when I have gotten home from the excursion.
First impressions are tough. Maybe to help calm your nerves need to invite him out with some friends for that drink. You could make other plans and meet him before, just to test the waters. But also remember that it is just a drink. Even better, make it a lunch get together, you get to know somebody pretty well in a short time. Speed dating! That way if you don’t get that special feeling, then it was just a lunch. I’m not the best at relationships either, but I have dated quite a bit since my divorce. I like the weeding out process at lunch instead of drinks. Too much pressure. Plus there are no expectations.
Whatever you decide, just be yourself. That’s what friendships are based on and you’ve got to be friends first.
Good luck to ya!
Chris,
While lunch would be ideal, being in different cities now kind of complicates things. But I like the whole getting to know you part, it is just getting that ball rolling! I have done the online dating thing with mixed results.
And I completely agree, friends first is the best! I think that is why things went well at first with the boy. We met on a dating site, chatted there, asking tons of questions, then talked on the phone for hours on end, by the time we met in person for a drink it was easy. And that turned into dinner.
Thanks for the luck. And if you ever want to hang out for an evening, let me know. I feel like I am a complete stranger in Chattanooga. I guess that is what happens when you are gone for a long time!