I have been in a cooking funk as of late. The heat, the traveling and the sheer laziness has all equaled out to not using my talent to cook. I had every intention of cooking this weekend. Initially, the plan was to cook yesterday and have my parents over for lunch. Saturday night rolls around and with an exchange of looks from dad and myself, well, cooking was taken off of my list of things to do.
I did manage to hit Publix and get what I needed yesterday, so as today rolled on (slowly I might add) I kept my excuses at bay knowing that if I didn’t come home and cook that my meat and veggies would go to waste, just like the chicken that I thawed out the other week. So I sucked it up and made Ragu Bolgenese. This is a traditional Northern Italy pasta dish (at least I think it is Northern) that is really simple to make. I love the dish and knew if I could just get off my duff, I could have about a weeks worth of dinners already made.
And I finally managed to cook it! And the smells coming from my kitchen made me smile. And this is when I start kicking myself because I love to smell the frangrences of cooking from scratch. I didn’t used to be this lazy but I guess cooking for one kind of makes it more difficult to really get into the swing of things. It was a great meal and then I promptly took a nap. But then again, I did lack some much needed sleep this weekend. . .
The waiting and good thoughts, well, those are all for Stacey and her husband. I am on pins and needles waiting to hear from her about last week’s amino. So if I am feeling this way, I can only guess that she is climbing the walls right about now.
Apparently I missed the sex ed course in high school since up until Stace and I became friends I didn’t think that it was all that challenging to get pregnant. But I learned a lot from her and as we joked last year between our multiple female issues, I declared that 2009 was the year of the who-ha. There is a lot more to it than simply having sex to get pregnant. The stars have to align and you have to wiggle your nose a certain way too.
Right now I am enjoying hearing about her pregnancy as it progresses and thankful that when I sneeze, I don’t pee my pants. Of course I think she mentioned in an email last weekend (while telling me her latest side effects from pregnancy) that she cannot wait for me to experience all of this personally. And I know she was laughing as she was typing it!
We all have those earnest wishes for things to happen in life, sometimes we don’t know exactly would we will be in for if we get it. And that is me to a T. I think about finding Mr. Right, getting married and having children but then I panic because what if I get all of that and more. It is really easy for me to sit here and say I want it but can I handle it? Or will I muck it up before it ever gets off the ground?
Stacey likes to say I am my own worst enemy and it is true. I can meet a guy, he can make me laugh and act like I was a teenager all over again but in the daylight I rationalize it out that it was a fluke. Or that perfect dress I had to get when I went out on the drinks/dinner thing with the crush. I thought that was a perfect dress and that he would find me mesmerizing. At least the dress was on sale. . .
So I will take the attention away from me since I could analyze everything that I have done in the past five years and could make Sybil look normal. Instead, I am going to ask for prayers and good thoughts for my BFF, husband and new little one growing inside of her. I can’t wait to hear the results but then again I only want to hear the good. If I were still in Nashville, you know that I would be there for you in an instant for a hug but I love you Stace and am still wishing on that star nightly that all will be well.
Stumbling Through Life 