The One Where I Fail at Cooking Dinner


There are just a few things that I know how to do well and one happens to be cooking. I started cooking when I was little, my babysitter and I would cook breakfast and lunch, pretending it was fabulous fare. As I got older, cooking dinner for my parents became part of my contribution each night.

Once I was out on my own, cooking was a way to bring friends together. Each year I would prepare an all out Christmas dinner a few weeks before Christmas, entertain in my apartment and we would all eat and drink to our hearts content. It was always my gift to them. Each spring I would host a kickoff to summer by making my ribs and baked beans for this same group. As Sonia jokes, it was by way of insuring that I had my friends year round.

As the years have past, I have challenged myself in the cooking world. I mastered French cooking, tried Italian dishes that I had never had before and always included my standards. Sometimes it was for friends, other times it was for who I was dating at the time but mostly, it was for me. I could whip up a meal fit for a king that I could eat on for the week.

Tonight I failed, big time. I was preparing dinner for Chandler in an effort to curtail our meals out as well as show off my skills. I had already made roast over the weekend but after second helpings there wasn’t much left. I knew that I had some pork tenderloins in the freezer and said I would just do those with some mac and cheese for him.

Well, the pork didn’t look so hot when I started to get it ready for the oven. But I figured it would be okay once cooked. I then went to start on the mac and cheese. I eat macaroni but with butter only. So I have yet to actually make mac and cheese but how hard could it be really. Throw some butter, cheese and milk in it and it should be good to go right?

Wrong. Poor Chandler had cut off a small piece of pork put it in his mouth and I could already tell that this was a failure. And I don’t fail in the kitchen. After he attempted to swallow that one piece several times, he finally got it down. I asked if it was bad and because he is so nice, he tried to say it wasn’t bad. But I knew.

I offer up that he doesn’t have to have any more of it and he looks relieved. Then he tried the mac and cheese. It is sticky, not creamy. Bright red face comes out in full force and I begin to apologize over and over again. I felt so bad for preparing such a crappy meal.

So next time I will actually go with a recipe for mac and cheese and I will use fresh pork and never, ever again will I try to cook something that doesn’t look great once thawed. We ended up picking up sandwiches for dinner.

To my mentors, Julia Child and Martha Stewart, I am so, so sorry for failing and looking like a complete dumbass in the kitchen. To Chandler, I am sorry that I prepared a crappy dinner and you had to try it. I really do know how to cook and I will make it up to you.

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Author:

What you see is what you get; I am a Nashville girl who is single, again. I use the blog to get my inner, tortured, wanna be writer angst out. One day I just may write a book. I have been stumbling through life for 43 years now, I love to cook, read and figure out more embarrassing ways I can either harm myself (thank you hula hoop of 2010 and the case of the thrown back) or just prove how inept I am at household chores and dieting. The people you read about on here are real but most have had their names changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent. And I really should make a list of them so I can remember! Enjoy, read, mock, laugh and comment, it really isn't difficult. Plus, I would prefer reading comments from real people as opposed to the weird spam comments I keep getting. Plus, I will always find the hardest path to follow and take that one, why would anyone want to take the easy way?!

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