That pretty much sums up my weekend, actually the whole week around here. I have a think for the 80’s. I grew up in a time when hair touched the ceilings (though mine didn’t), acid wash denim was cool and excess was the rage.
I have now watched the documentary about Iron Maiden on their ’08 tour for the hundredth time. I was never a fan of their music but I love the history as well as having a lead singer who pilots their 757 around the world. Thanks to VH1 Classics, I can get my fill of all things hair band related. Sigh. . .
I am also rereading The Herion Diaries by Nikki Sixx while reading his new book, This is Gonna Hurt. While I never dabbled with drugs, I knew people that did and addiction is a funny thing. His first book could be applied to any type of addiction and how it can spiral into the abyss. Add in his honesty about his childhood, depression and his drive to live on the edge, well, it makes for a great read no matter how many times you read it.
I have shared before about my struggles with depression but I think it goes a lot deeper than just being depressed. It is now under control thanks to my wonderful medication for panic attacks but I also have to touch base with myself and be honest about things that I might not like dealing with.
Resentment, anger, frustration can all take a toll on a person. And while getting out of bed, going to work and making sure that you keep one foot going in front of the other helps, dealing with the actual cause is much harder.
I have said things in the past, in anger and frustration, because I had kept it bottled up for so long that when it came out my words were not kind. I remember years ago helping proof a paper for Bubba’s younger brother. I can no longer tell you the topic but it was a paper that was to discuss/debate an issue. His brother didn’t use the right words to defend his opinion, he used words out of anger, taking a debate into a kindergarten level argument.
I have always been one to say, you can be angry about something but use your words. Stand up for your thoughts but make sure that your point is not based on high level emotions. People will inevitably get on our nerves, let us down or say something in passing meant as a joke that actually hurts. These are the times when we should stop, think and then speak.
Sixx’s thoughts from his journals and in present day show two very different ways of thinking. He was angry, depressed and railing on anyone who wanted to challenge him but as the years pass and he got sober and help for his depression, he realized that the arguments sprung from his need to be liked, in control and accepted.
And people think that the 80’s were all bad. . .if that decade can throw me onto this kind of tangent, I believe it did some good. And now I must go and read some more. I just can’t get enough. . .