Wanted: Stilts with Thick Soles. . .

Apartment living is, umm, interesting to say the very least. I have had my share of wacky neighbors since I have lived in apartments after college. Opera Man is still a classic. Think Jersey Shore reject living in Nashville, driving his tinted to the max gold sedan blasting opera. You could smell him before he got within 100 yards of you and who can forget the time he drunkingly made out with some chick at his door for all to see???

But now I have woman who lives above me who is either throwing furniture for fun or invited a large traveling circus to live with her for the summer. In December, Chandler and I had decided she must be constructing a dog house from all the banging around we heard. I never called the office to complain although now I am regretting it.

Seems her guests are back, actually they swooped in late into the night the Friday before Memorial Day. They have been here ever since. I am treated to nightly vibrations as the team of toddlers and adults alike run, jump and probably throw the couch around upstairs.

Do I offer them tea once they finally reach their goal of coming through the ceiling? Or should I throw shoes at the ceiling until they realize that someone lives below them? Or should I run up there and ask if I can join in on the fun?

I am also gifted with spare change on my deck, Monopoly money and today I was lucky enough to find a checker. Oh and for fun, I also get all the food crumbs from the past two weeks. It is just unfortunate that I have yet to go out and buy a broom. . .

My dad offered the suggestion of getting a pair of stilts, put some shoes on them and run back and forth, banging them on the ceiling. At this point I am ready to give that a try since calls to the office have been filed in the trash.

I have had many a guest over at my place through the years yet somehow managed to ensure that my neighbors didn’t have to deal with the noise or mess. Had one of my friends thrown a beer can in the bushes or the parking lot, I would have smacked them and told them to pick it up.

So friends, what is a girl to do? Because if Wookie is unnerved by this (and nothing ever really bothers him) it has to be bad. They have driven me to put “buy a broom” on my list for Target. This is not a good sign. . .


What you see is what you get; I am a Nashville girl who is single, again. I use the blog to get my inner, tortured, wanna be writer angst out. One day I just may write a book. I have been stumbling through life for 43 years now, I love to cook, read and figure out more embarrassing ways I can either harm myself (thank you hula hoop of 2010 and the case of the thrown back) or just prove how inept I am at household chores and dieting. The people you read about on here are real but most have had their names changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent. And I really should make a list of them so I can remember! Enjoy, read, mock, laugh and comment, it really isn't difficult. Plus, I would prefer reading comments from real people as opposed to the weird spam comments I keep getting. Plus, I will always find the hardest path to follow and take that one, why would anyone want to take the easy way?!

2 thoughts on “Wanted: Stilts with Thick Soles. . .

  1. At least one of the kids hasn’t overfilled the bathtub while his parents were stoned causing the water to pour through the ceiling. Yes that happened at one of my old apartments in Maryland. The kid thought it would be fun to fill the bathtub, never turned off the water and the parents had no clue until I went running upstairs to bang on their damn door. Quality parenting there I tell you.

    1. You are the winner! I get that living in an apartment comes with the joys of noise and the like but come on! At this point I would take opera man and his sexy ways, smells and music over this! And the least you could have done was offer up snacks for the parents! Geez, who cares about a flooded apartment. . . LOL

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