I was reading an article about this in The Daily Mail this morning and it hit home, maybe a bit too hard for my liking. As I have said before, I got lucky in terms of having the father I have. He encouraged me to go after what I wanted to do in life. He didn’t see any issues due to my gender.
To have it all, in terms of the article, I should have a top notch career, a loving, supportive spouse and kids. And I wouldn’t argue with that if I didn’t see my life as a bit of a mess. A mess that I look at, swear I am going to declutter and move forward to attain each and every goal.
The only problem is the older you get, some of those dreams kind of disappear or look as it they are unattainable. So let me break this down for you in terms of what I know about me. I want some feedback from all of you though.
- Career~well, I fell into my career after learning that my love for my college education would not keep a roof over my head. I also wanted to stay in Nashville because of Bubba. But throughout my career I have worked hard, took advice, learned as much as I could and then I would spin it so I could use all those wonderful skills I learned in college. I am scraping by financially and nowhere near what I thought I would be in terms of my career. My passion is writing, my other passion is being surrounded by kids, teaching them and seeing the world through their eyes.
- Love~well, I can say that I have plenty of friends who love me to the moon and back. We have been there through our highs and lows; willing to help out when needed. But the one, the one I thought I would have found by now is not in sight. There is one that could possibly be the one but I think by the time it hits him, I will have decided I don’t care anymore. I am set in my ways and I am a strong, independent woman. If I make a mess, I want to figure out how to pick it all back up. In truth, I don’t need a man in my life to make me feel whole, I would like a man in my life that compliments my quirks with his and can respect what I have to say.
- Children~I want them but not without a husband. This is truly the only traditional thing on my list and in part, it has more to do with my parents than anything else. I think I have caused enough trouble to grey their hair, I think having a child in wedlock would be a nice gesture to them. Plus, I need backup when it comes to kids now, I get tired or frustrated, someone had better step up and help out.
We can make all the plans in the world but I think the big guy upstairs has his plans put together and it seems silly to try and fight him on that. He wins, just pass some notes from time to time so I can figure it out. Please.
Why is it still a man’s world? Is it because as females we like to nurture, take care of others and sometimes see our career as something that can be worked around. From the article, it states that several women in my age range have given up their high profile jobs in order to still have a career, maybe less demanding, and find balance with their spouse and children.
Balancing is tough and I have watched men simply shirk off some of the home life in order to build the career. Maybe they don’t have those heartstrings being tugged on all of time. I don’t have any answers, only that at this point in my life I know I want something more.
I dream of moving back to Nashville or going to DC or NYC and making a life there but how? It takes a lot of money, money I do not have. I also still dream of taking off across the Atlantic to spend way too much time in London, Paris and the like. All so I could take it all in and write about it.
Do I just want a long term boyfriend, no kids and the ability to travel wherever? Or do I want to get married, compromise on my career front and have babies that I can raise and hope I don’t make any mistakes with them. Instill fiscal responsibility that I didn’t inherit.
The older I get the more distorted that picture gets of what I want my life to look like. One day I hope I have published a book, to be known as a writer and have blog my title inked into my wrist. A daily reminder that I could write, make people laugh, cry and think. For me, the written word means so much, I love being able to take those thoughts in my head and turn them into something I am so proud of; knowing that if one person takes away a nugget of wisdom, it was all worth it.
For now I will focus on my career, love my friends, their kids and my family. I still believe in fairy tells I just don’t know how to go about finding that glass slipper.
Stumbling Through Life 
Nobody can have it all. I don’t think it is possible. Something always gets pushed to the side in the pursuit and achivement of something else, thinking of this solely from a married, working mom’s point of view. For the CFBC crowd, yes I think it is a little more possible. It was easier balancing a home, job and marriage/relationship for me. Throw a little human into the mix and let the chaos begin. That being said, I’ve never wanted to make it in a man’s world. I never had any desire to run a Fortune 500 or the like. I’ve always just wanted to be happy. Simply happy. I never set out long term goals for myself with I guess, the exception, of having children and I didn’t take that seriously until I hit my 30s. Perhaps I lack the drive but I can stress myself easily enough without help. A high powered career would throw me into the ER or the psych ward at Vandy.
I think that is where the article was going but for me, I find it frustrating that sometimes it seems like (at least to me) that maybe men have it a bit easier. It could be our hormones and the need to nurture everyone and everything. In the field that I am in (and well, you are too) it seems to be a boys club. Or simply because the guy that gets the raise or the promotion isn’t based on his work but the fact that he is a man. Those career goals from long ago seem like a little bump in the road that I couldn’t handle and landed in the field that I am in now. My fallback though is writing, something that I want to take to the next level and somehow because successful with that. Something that I think I could do and add a man and kids into without the stress. I don’t know though. I would like to see my man come up on a white horse and rescue me and say that he is there to support me in my dreams but the older I get the less I believe in that cute fairytale.