Tuesday Randomness

I hope everyone made it through Hurricane Irene, it looks like Katia is starting to form but hopefully it will not get near the islands or the states. Are you ready for more randomness from me?

  • I actually saw dark clouds forming tonight, they won’t share any of their rain with me, so I am going with the fact they are now taunting me, ready to throw out some high 90s for the rest of the week.
  • I read the most appalling news story today, two kids (their father as their attorney) tried to sue their mom for bad mothering. Seriously, if your life is so bad because you were called to come home at midnight during a homecoming dance or the birthday card you received didn’t contain money, let me just boo hoo for you. Put your big girl panties on and be thankful she cared. Or as my friends in England say, “Bloody wankers.”
  • I was greeted this morning by a squirrel going down the steps. I think I should make friends with this little cutie.
  • All day I thought it was Monday all over again, I hate those kind of days. I had to keep reminding myself that it was indeed Tuesday.
  • Lemon pepper chicken and roasted purple potatoes are indeed yummy.
  • I am being such a good girl watching what I eat. I have moments where I feel like I could eat everything in sight but overall I am not that hungry. I am getting into a good groove with it but drinking water on the weekends seems to be the hard part.
  • My parents went to the dentist today. Dad ended up with another cavity. I guess I should blame him more for my teeth than mom.
  • Did you know that FOOTBALL starts for like real this weekend? OMG, I cannot wait.
  • Fall, you are more than welcome to come around now, see above.
  • The Daily Mail London posts a new, cuter than cute picture of an animal daily. Today’s picture was a baby elephant born at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. I just want to snuggle up with that little cutie!
  • Going back on your blog, trying to tag prior entries is a challenge. I wish I had done this from the beginning. This could take awhile.
  • Per a very strong recommendation from a friend, I ordered padded bike shorts for my attempt at spinning. For some reason I could have sworn that the padding was on the butt not the um, never mind. Let’s just say I learned something today.
  • Why is it my hair looks frazzled as soon as I hit the office but by the time I get back to my apartment, it actually looks halfway decent?
  • What I am doing this weekend? Football, football, football. . . need I say more?
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Natural Disasters

I have been lucky when it comes to natural disasters my whole life. Living in Nashville I had a close call with a tornado that apparently wanted to see what Tootsies was all about. Sure, some buildings had damage to them, there were live wires all of the place but I was cozy in the women’s, um, maybe it was the men’s restroom at the time. Such is life. My car was okay but my nerves were shot.

I then became a tornado specialist. I learned what to look for (thank you Nancy Van Camp) on the radar and by then the tornado sirens were built, one block from me. I always heard them and would shake. Wookie would look up at me and think, “Crap, that crazy girl is going to haul all kinds of crap into the bathroom, me included. ” Well, you do what keeps you sane and I did.

I had even managed to miss all the hail during these storms while living in Nashville. It was comical because my car should have been slammed a few times. I moved to Chattanooga last year just in time for the flood of all floods hit Nashville. I did learn that had I been there I would have been fine. Even though my apartment was on the first floor.

This year the tornadoes lost their way and somehow kept up their pace to hit Chattanooga and Cleveland. While I certainly miss the sirens and Nancy Van Camp’s soothing voice telling me to take cover, I had another worry. My parents. They last power that morning during the first round. I didn’t want them to panic, just cluster their cats up and stay in the closet. I had power and a tv. I told them I would call and give them a heads up when things got worse again.

After all of that, it is now time for Hurricane season. As my BFF posted on FB, This makes you want to sing Come on Irene instead of Eileen. And I have had that  song in my head since then. I prayed for my friends living up and down the coast. I stayed glued to MSNBC for the coverage and also some snarky snark on FB. Sure, it is a pain to evacuate but I would rather be safe than sorry ya know?

Now the NE is dealing with flooding. I remember the pictures for Nashville’s flood and stories my friends shared with me. I also was in shock about two weeks later when I went up there for a weekend and it rained hard. Guess the other water hadn’t vacated just yet. The water rising so quickly on the streets gave me a moment to pause. Scary! But I carried on.

The NE got lucky because it could have been worse. It could have taken more lives and the flooding may take some time to subside for them to rebuild. But I promise you this, if you can gather your community together to pitch in and help, things will get better soon. I have witnessed this first and second hand. Help a neighbor out and you will get help in return. If one person has a generator; use it for the common good of the neighborhood. The kids can play together, the parents can cook for an impromptu block party.

Those are those stories I like to hear. People helping people instead of fighting about who has what. Or when will the power come back on. God Bless you all, and thank you Irene for slowing down a bit to help everyone out.

Now will someone send some rain clouds over here???

The One Where I Cringe

Let’s take a moment and go back to 2006; in February I went to NYC with Jorge as a Christmas/Birthday/Valentine’s Day thing. It was a sweet gesture that I was more than excited about; a chance to go back to my favorite city as well as spending that time with my boyfriend. We had been dating for a couple of years at this point. While some friends thought maybe I would come back with an engagement ring I was just happy to be going to the city.

Fast forward two weeks after that. . . a phone call from him saying we needed to talk, me guessing he was dumping me and the beginning spiral into depression. I was devastated. I was in shock and couldn’t understand how we got to this point after such an amazing trip and some very sweet sentiments from him even after the trip.

I slept a lot but couldn’t eat. Me, a person that loves food a bit too much couldn’t stomach food. I went about two weeks not really eating (well, if memory serves right, I don’t think I did eat) and then after that barely ate. At some point I started to walk, kind of like Forrest Gump and his running. I walked and walked and walked. Around the complex, around my neighborhood, around the parks in Nashville.

As I got further depressed about it I couldn’t get my brain to stop running. So to combat that I begged my parents for an iPod Shuffle. With the music blaring into my ears and walking, all the thoughts would quiet down. I also noticed that my fluffy self started to lose weight. And being a control freak caused me to see that while I couldn’t control my love life, I could certainly control what I ate and how much I exercised.

I celebrated two months later with a completely new wardrobe for my new skinny self and a trip to DC with a friend. I was so in shape that I was loving all the walking we were doing in DC. I indulged a bit with food but between the walking and hot weather, the scale still went down. I then came home, got a new job and continued to obsess over my new skinny self.

Later that summer I treated myself again, because hey, I was skinny! I loved that everything I tried on looked just right! This time I treated myself to some uber expensive jeans, jeans that I swore I couldn’t get into but they fit! I was thrilled and took my new uber expensive jeans out on the town often with friends.

Then life went on, a few pounds went on and then I hit depression again. This time it wasn’t because of some guy (thank goodness) but merely a job transfer that took me from home back to were I was raised. I had already been dealing with things by binging but I went to a new low. And more weight packed on, my fat clothes no longer fit so I had to find new clothes I could designate as fat clothes. Now some of those are getting tight.

This is where I am today. I am fat. This isn’t an image problem because my stomach and chins are quite clear. If I walk around outside or even shopping, I am sweating. It is nasty. I think I finally hit bottom though. At least this better be bottom. I was talking to dad about joining the Y and while I would prefer not to spend that money every month at this point it is necessary. Dad said in such a kind way that I needed to get control of this. This meaning my weight. While he doesn’t have much room to talk with regards to weight, I do understand where he is coming from. He is a diabetic and has had triple bypass surgery.

So after going out last night to watch a documentary I came home and took my new jeans off of me. I held them up in front of me in the mirror. And I thought “Holy crap! My ass is HUGE!” I stared at them, wondering how I got to this point. Being 5’1″ tends to make weight gain a lot more noticeable. . . .

Just slap wide load on the back and we are good to go!

Yep, those are my big girl jeans and even they are a bit snug. Then I went to my closet, got out my skinny jeans because when you pay a lot for them you keep them, even if you can’t get one calf into them. I held them up in front of me at the mirror and thought “Damn! I had a great ass!” And then I put them both together just to see how much I have grown physically. . .

I remember these! I also remember the nights out I had in them!
Skinny jeans on top and my fat jeans "trying" to hide behind them. Umm, I am gonna need more denim.

While these jeans are just that jeans, they represent what has happened in the last five years. I had another what I thought to be good relationship but realized that the boy wasn’t for me. He didn’t what the things I wanted. Then I had to make a decision about my job and moved.

I haven’t adjusted, I have just compensated for what I miss. I have compensated with food. Lots and lots of food. So last night I realized I had to change. I had to not think of this as a diet, not think of this as a way to get back into those jeans but just get healthy.

I haven’t been drinking too much Diet Coke, in fact I think I last had some Monday. And it was just a little bit. I have three two liters of it that I bought on Saturday and I have yet to open them. I am drinking a lot of water, I am peeing a lot. Seriously, I can’t get my work done because I am always jumping up to go to the bathroom! I am also watching what I am eating.

Next week I will start at the Y. I know it isn’t going to be pretty or easy but I want this fat off of me. I keep waiting for someone to ask when the baby is due when all that is in my stomach is food. I weigh more now that I ever have and I cannot stand it.

So while I will indulge in chocolate because if I tell myself I can’t have it, I will binge on it. I am going to stock up on Raspberry Ice mix for my water so at lunch I can at least have something with some taste. And while my sugar and other blood work looks okay, I want to make sure that I don’t end up with every ailment known to man.

I cringed last night because I finally saw the chins, the stomach and the back fat for what it is, depression about the location that I happen to be in right now. I am going to work on what I do best and I am going to make sure I get out a bit. This isn’t my favorite place but I do have friends and family so I will make do until I can figure out my next step. Until then I am going to workout, watch what I eat and watch the scale go down.

And mom and dad, I challenge you to do this to. Go for walks, join the Y and let’s get rid of this fat. Plus I really want to get into my bikini again, I mean I can now but I would prefer not to scare people with it right now!

Tuesday Randomness

After a busy day at work and trying to find the Whole Foods here I think I am ready to go to bed. But first, a few randoms that have popped into my head today. . .

  • Earthquake, east coast style. Didn’t feel anything here but remember waking up to one back in ’08 when I was in Nashville. The boy laughed for quite some time as I kept saying “Get to the doorway! Get to the doorway!” I just learned on the news that apparently when dealing with an earthquake, you should duck and cover instead of getting into a doorway. Hmph!
  • Hurricane season is upon us, I don’t want to see any damage but I am requesting on comes soon that will translate into rain for this area. The sun, heat and humidity is out of control this summer, the only thing that will make up for this? Bring on the snow!
  • Growing up in this area you would think I would know my way around. Think again, I once again got lost trying to navigate around Northshore. All I wanted to do was hit up the Whole Foods (well, they still call if Greenlife for some reason). Can you say disappointment? I will stick with Earthfare here. The produce section, the hot bar and bakery are TINY compared to my Whole Foods in Nashville. Nope, I don’t buy a lot there but I puffy heart love walking around in there. This was a wasted trip.
  • I have been cutting back on caffeine and it shows. I am kind of shocked by this, I am drinking milk with my dinner, a cup of coffee in the morning, maybe a little bit of Diet Coke but the rest of the time I am sucking back water. Something is wrong with me.
  • If my budget agrees with me, next month I am going to join the YMCA since there will be no joining fee. Water aerobics here I come.
  • I really need to hang my uber expensive skinny jeans on my door. A nice reminder of what why I want to get healthy (to get my money’s worth out of those suckers!)
  • Talking to Bubba today made me laugh. Such a goober, yet such a good friend. Old man likes to tell me I am getting to old to go to concerts. Oh and I need to settle down.
  • Has anyone read up on the Dukan diet? Seems this European diet has been all the rage for years across the pond. I would like to jump start the weight loss, so I just might try it.
  • The urge to visit IKEA! again is getting strong. Must.Not.Give.In.
  • Looked at possible upgrades with regards to my Kitchen Aid stand mixer. I think I will stick with what I have for now. The one I want? That one would cost half of my trip to NYC.
  • Caught up with a friend from elementary school through high school last night. Soldier said I have called him a dork in the past. I have no recollection but I will say this, being a dork is a lot better than some other names I have called people in the past.
  • Is it Friday yet?

I Laughed so Hard I Cried

The debate about movie ticket sales, the high cost of going in this crappy economy and the fact that Hollywood seems to have lost there sense of originality (cringing at the thought of Footloose and Dirty Dancing being remade) has made me wait until something comes out on DVD. I make exceptions though for movies that I know are worth my weekly pay. And then there is the cheap theater (Regal Hamilton Place, $3) that I always think about but never go to; until last night.

Let me throw out my issues first with the “discount” theaters. In general, these theaters have not be revamped, so no stadium seating and up to date digital goodness. The popcorn and soda are still expensive but like I really need a snack. I have a thing about good seating. With stadium seating, I go to the very back, middle; those are the best seats in the house. Also, being that I am short, even in stadium seating I don’t have to crane my neck around some really tall person in front of me. So the one, maybe two times I go see a movie in the theater, it is all worth it.

On to the good! I saw Bridesmaids last night. Oh dear Lord in Heaven! That would have been worth seeing at full matinee price. I sat with Bird, laughing during the bridesmaid dress looking, to the point of crying. I can only imagine having those issues in an expensive store WITH white carpeting. The street scene was great only because with my stomach on a normal day after having a very healthy egg white omelet I know that sense of urgency.

There were many times when I grabbed Bird, thinking I was going to fall onto the floor from laughing, cringing or a laugh/cry combo. It was all too much to handle and not anything like I had imagined. I thought that this all would happen on their trip to Vegas. But I was happy none the less at the crap that Kristen Wiig got herself and the girls into while trying to plan a wedding.

Of course, I also felt for her character. I am the last single girl standing. While my friends are now having babies, I do remember dealing with lack of money, bad dates, bad relationships, failed career choices all while my friends were planning their weddings. It is bittersweet, I think that is the best way to describe it, seeing your friends so happy because you are so happy for them but then you go home to your apartment, greeted by your cat and realize that none of that stuff is happening to you.

Sure, it could happen, but I have gotten to that point where I just don’t care. It is, I guess, a milestone for me, accepting that being single for the duration of my life and trying to find the bright spots within it. I can do what I want when I want, if I wanted to explore options of moving somewhere completely different, I don’t have to discuss it with a spouse or take into consideration children. Thinking of taking a vacation for my birthday to NYC is completely okay because I don’t have to think about anyone else. But I also have the internal fight of the other wants in my life. To settle down, have a kid and work as a team.

Of course, at the end of the movie, our heroine gets the boy and all is right in the world. For me? When it is fall or winter, football is on the tv and I am snuggled up on the couch with my cat, all is right in the world.

Now I need to finish The Help so I can go see that movie. But the good news is I have (through Sprint, my cell phone carrier) been able to purchase two tickets at $4 apiece. I have to say, that whole texting TAKEDOWN while waiting for Harry Potter to start was a good thing.

Now I am off to stalk to the cheap theater to see when they will get HP on their screen!

Tuesday Randomness

Back to work, back to the routine and now without further adieu here is my randomness for Tuesday.

  • I have come to realize that I need a vacation from my vacation, getting old kind of sucks
  • I made it through Monday without incident and for that I give myself a pat on the back
  • I have been feeling crafty lately, a feeling that typically comes back as fall draws nearer, must explain why I have fall and winter stuff for my glass hurricanes but not for spring and summer
  • With craftiness in the air, I headed to JoAnn’s after work yesterday, while day dreaming of painting on canvases the reality that my cat could produce better artwork dashed those dreams
  • I did pick up some potpourri (apple cider thank you very much) and a few more flowers for my vases, Wookie has tried his hand at flower arranging which means that displaying them on my end tables will not work
  • I would love to learn how to knit or sew but those are skills best left to others, kind of like painting. . . but I think I am going to make a fleece throw with the Steeler’s logo all over it using that fringe tying method, sure it won’t go with my decor but football is in the air and what better way to watch, nestled under it on the couch while cheering them on
  • I am peeling, translation, I got a bit too much sun and now I am itching (back only since my legs are still pasty white
  • While having dinner tonight my cat helped himself to my milk, thanks little man, I really wasn’t thirsty. . .
  • After struggling to get up this morning I realized it was cool enough to drive to work with the sunroof open, oh happy day
  • Is it bad that I have already scoped out flights and hotels to NYC for a possible birthday celebration? Now who wants to contribute? I mean, it’s only a grand for the flight and hotel for the week (swoon)
  • Finally, tomorrow is Wednesday which means I will be halfway done with this work week
  • Oh and for those that need a seagull whisperer, I am your girl. I made the gulls land and be polite last week when I fed them. And bonus, no poop on me!

A Case of the Mondays, Early

Oh sweet vacation, where did you go? It seems like only yesterday I was watching the clock, ready for Friday to end and the vacation to begin.

The good news is football is starting, the weather got a bit cooler and I have been cooking up a storm this weekend. I even cleaned up the kitchen, did a load of laundry and all that is left to deal with is the trash. I am thinking that is something I will deal with tomorrow. . .

I am still trying to play with the layout/design of the blog only because I see others and think that theirs’ are so much cooler than mine. For now I am digging the header but that came with this particular layout. There are some other things I can add with this layout so I need to read up before I really start playing with them. I am also thinking of doing a separate page that kind of focuses on cooking. I love to play with recipes, challenge myself and of course, I have a thing for Williams Sonoma. So that just might be a good spot to put all of that and for the foodies out there, you too can drool over some of the gadgets that I drool over.

I did have a moment this weekend when I did get a bit blue and it all has to do with not being in a relationship. But for the time being, I just don’t want to get out there, the thought of going through the whole first date thing kind of makes me ill at the moment.

But tonight I am going to strive to get to bed early, wake up early tomorrow and deal with emails that I haven’t read in a week. Should be interesting. I am hoping that I am super busy at work this week since that seems to help the days go by quickly. I need to look at my auto draft for fantasy football and get that all set and then. .  .I guess I will put my clothes up and the suitcase back into the corner. For now the suitcase it taunting Wookie which means he is extra cuddly.

Hope your Monday is a good one and I hope I survive my first day back to work.

Pardon the Mess

I am working on some changes so for those five or so people who do read on a regular basis, sorry, it might be wonky for a bit.

We are finishing up our time at the beach. Bird has ventured into the ocean and even taken to collecting shells with her feet. I made the mistake of promising her girls some sand dollars but due to the strong tide and the weather, well, I haven’t found any yet. But I have a bit more time before I have to head to the airport.

Mom has grown gills and I really don’t think she will be leaving the beach. Sorry dad. . . but you encouraged her to go. Just saying. Me? I am ready to get back to my baby, Wookie. I have missed snuggling up to him and the guilt of leaving him is starting to take it’s toll. He has been well taken care of though. Little man has had K wrapped around his finger and for that I appreciate K for taken such good care of my baby.

Now off to figure out how to redesign this site.

Tuesday Randomness

Beach Edition! While enjoying a respite from the hot and humid weather, here are some thoughts about the beach and all of the people watching I have enjoyed so far. . .

  • Why do men, young, old, in shape or not, wear speedos???? This is not a good look for you, trust me. To loosely borrow from Robin Williams, if I can tell your religion by the bottoms you wear, this is not good. .  .
  • The young man building sand sculptures, you rock dude! I haven’t seen such beautiful sculptures like this in person, only in pictures.
  • I completely forgot what it was like to go into one of those touristy beach shops until tonight; I now remember why I normally avoid them. But I did manage to get my shot glass to commerate my travels.
  • Apparently vacations mean not looking at your watch, this doesn’t bode well for when I have to go back to reality.
  • Eating has turned into grazing, something that needs to stop ASAP. So much for jump starting my get back into shape goal.
  • I believe I could leave mom in the water and she would be fine until the end of time. Even in the rain she wants to be in the water.
  • Oh to be young and dumb again (actually, umm, forget that)! Those crazy youngins’ are living it up and don’t yet understand what life is really about. I can hear the song “Summer Lovin” in my head and must thank the man upstairs that I no longer have to live through those high drama romances.
  • My lack of exercise plus my intake of not so healthy food equals a beached whale in the cabana. Oh well, I haven’t seen anyone running away screaming just yet, so I will go with it.

While there are several pluses for going to the beach for a vacation, I still think that my time roaming around a large city is more me. I love my naps and no schedule to think of but I feel a bit out of sorts. I guess having a brain that goes a mile a minute all the time does that to you. Being a beach bum is kind of difficult for me.

I also had dreams of renting a bike and going for a ride but apparently after my little tumble Sunday evening, I have proven that I am more of a klutz that would probably do more damage to myself on a bike.

And now I shall who else is out and about tonight. Maybe I will catch another man in a speedo. . .

The One Where I Take a Tumble

I am in St Pete, taking a break from the sun and fun with mom and Bird to share my less than graceful ability when walking. This time at the beach has been relaxing but between the sunburn and shoulder aching, I have to say, this never happens when I hit NYC or DC. . .

 

Our second night in town, we headed to a restaurant down in Pass-A-Grille, apparently they like to name the places every few miles around here. This area is at the end of St Pete Beach and gives my mom another place to search for shells, take pictures and enjoy the ocean. As she headed up to the fishing pier, I followed with Bird right behind me. The path is a group of rocks, mostly flat and it looked easy to climb up, as if they were steps.

 

I am still not sure how it happened but I guess I slipped on the sand and my lack of traction on some very old flip flops. I managed to protect my phone and myself when I fell but I took the brunt of the fall on my right shoulder when I caught myself (you know, so I wouldn’t bust my face open).

 

Other than a few scrapes on one shin, some soreness on both shins, I got away with really only hurting my pride. This is yet another mishap when it comes to me walking, further proving the point that I lack grace to make it from point A to point B.

 

While I have been enjoying a Jack and Diet while on vacation, I can’t even contribute my little fall to the libations. It was all me, just trying to do what many normal people do daily without incident. Good times.

 

It is interesting writing from here; I am sitting at the outside bar at our resort listening to Buffet, the breeze keeping me cool and writing. At least I can say I doubt I will injure myself as I sit here. Now I am going to figure out how I can parlay writing into a fulltime gig so I can support myself that way. . .