Next fall the Class of 92 will be gathering to celebrate their 20 year high school reunion. For those of us who graduated from Cleveland High many things have changed since we left campus. The junior high has been moved and is now classified as a middle school, My Alma Marta has built a science wing and upgraded the rooms, redecorated, instilled a dress code and probably a whole list of things since we left.
Some classmates got married, had kids, stayed married, got divorced, found love after that, some came out of the closet, some have probably distanced themselves from their high school selves. The tie that bounds us all together is that we came from there. But other than that, I don’t think many of us would still think of ourselves as that same kid who walked in there as a freshman.
I have heard people make comments about not going to prom or not doing this or that. The reality is, it was just a dance. I somehow managed to go to four during my time in high school (well one was after I graduated but it was just the same). We get dressed up, go somewhere fancy to eat, we dance and then we go off on our separate ways to after parties and then home. I wasn’t in band, I wasn’t a cheerleader but I have somehow managed to deal with those.
I am of two minds when it comes to the reunion. I would like to go but I don’t have a fancy job, nor a fancy car and I don’t have a husband or kids to share with my classmates. But then I do have something that might be of interest. I am smart, funny and tend to just say what is on my mind, I learned that from a very sweet man in high school.
While this little old blog is just a way to get those writing urges out; I also know that there are others who read here and nod their head at the struggles of trying to find the right one. And if I find him, do I really want to settle down and get married. I am not knocking on my friends and their marriages. I am quite happy for them. But I also see the worries, struggles, the arguments that can happen. Maybe the right one hasn’t shown his face to me. Who knows.
When I look at the boy, sure I can find a lot of faults when it comes to his personality but those faults were what drew me to him in the first place. Not to change him but to learn together who to coexist. I walked because part of me thought he was just bidding his time and the other part was the simple sharing or doing something nice (like a card) were off his radar. He said a few months ago and I made him talk to me about it a bit more a couple of weeks ago. He said I was the one and that he loved me. He just needed time to get his head wrapped around it. While I don’t really get his reasoning for all of that I have to laugh now. The shoe is on the other foot and I don’t know if I really want to get married. I like being able to do what I want when I want and not having to consider anyone else in the equation. The freedom is what entices me to not worry so much about why I haven’t gotten married yet.
Do I want to get married? Jury is still out. I do still think about it, I think about that urge to build my own little family. To make my parents grandparents. To understand things my friends are talking about instead of being told, you wouldn’t get it, you don’t have kids. That kind of hurts, not going to lie.
But I do have so much to be thankful for and I take that with me. Will I be attending my 20 year high school reunion? I don’t know. If I am in my skinny jeans by then, the outlook looks better. I know that I am not a failure but there are times when I really do think I am. Good times.
So here’s to the Class of 92! I hope planning is getting underway. I am interested in seeing if we get more people out than last time.
Stumbling Through Life 