SATC: The X Factor

This is the third in a series and yes, I am late with this one but I have a wonderful reason, it is called going to the gym and not coming out until I am completely worn out and sweaty. I think this is one of my favorites (so far) because I speak from experience. . .

Later that night I got to thinking about the x-factor. In mathematics, we learn that x stands for the unknown, a+b=x, but what’s really unknown is what plus what equals friendship with an x. Is this an unsolvable equation? Or is it possible to transform a once passionate love into something that fits nice and easily onto the friendship shelf? I couldn’t help but wonder… can you be friends with an x?

I wasn’t the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree when it came to math and it was a struggle to get through statistics in college (and accounting. . . ) but I got a great lesson in the X factor years after college.

Bubba is the guy I had the longest relationship with, ever. We even tried living together which helped nail the coffin shut relationship wise. There were ups and downs, things said and done and a lot of hurt on both sides. But as I have mentioned before, after Jorge, I felt the urge to contact him. I just wanted to see if he was still the same person I had dated years ago.

The upside of seeing him after three years of no communication was, I was all kinds of skinny. As I walked up to where he was waiting for me I watched his jaw drop. It is still a great memory to relive in my mind today. We had dinner, we talked and he apologized.

Our friendship after such a tempestuous relationship was shocking, not only to us but to my friends that remember that version of me when we were together. There were times when we could have fallen back into old habits, temptations to see if the spark was still there but somehow we managed to control ourselves.

I also learned that I could be the bossy one now, the demanding one. As I whined about wanting a malt but didn’t want to drive to Bobbies, he would inevitably give in and come get me. Not only carting my ass to the best malt in West Nashville but would also give in and pay. We started going out for Mexican once a week and he would pay for my meal there as well. The joke became that he was paying penance for all the wrongs against me while we were dating.

As my heart began to heal from the Jorge debacle, I leaned on Bubba as a friend to try to understand what I might be doing wrong in terms of relationships. He was there when I made mistakes with Jorge’s cousin, not once but twice. He was also there when I started dating the boy.

It is interesting to start dating someone and have to explain that you happen to have guys as friends. But that was a piece of cake compared to having to explain to the boy that not only did I have guy friends but I also had an ex that was a friend.

The X factor is interesting because while I can bag on Bubba, no one else is allowed to or at least past a certain point. There were times when the boy was laughing about Bubba’s dating choices and begged me to call him to ask the latest.

Did I ever introduce them? No. It never seemed like the right thing to do. One, they are very different types of guys and two, Bubba would have preferred to go without beer for a month instead of dealing with the guy who taunted him about his choice in women.

When I made the decision to break up with the boy I called Bubba, in tears and defensive. I didn’t want harsh words from him, I wanted support and comfort from a friend. He delivered in his oh so weird way. That October, when I had to deal with my annual work event and the memories of telling the boy I loved him the very first time, Bubba was there. As I was crying from exhaustion from dealing with the event as well as missing the boy, he hugged me and told me the boy wasn’t worth the tears.

Around this time Bubba had started dating someone and I had to learn how to share him. I was used to having him for our weekly dinner at Cancun as well as random moments throughout the week and weekend. I also knew that this must be going somewhere because for once, he didn’t say a lot about her. I was pulling teeth trying to learn about her. As Christmas drew closer I did my normal shopping with him. He leaves it to the last minute, no thoughts on what he should get for his family and this year was the same. I also helped him determine what he should get for his girlfriend.

I did what any shopaholic girly-girl does, I took him to Tiffany’s and introduced him to my world. After picking out a necklace similar to one I had picked out, he pulled out his card to pay. I was giddy as a kid on Christmas morning. No, this wasn’t a gift for me but I knew that his girlfriend would like it, even with the few details he gave me about her. I checked with him after he gave it to her and yep, he did good!

Being friends with an ex is tricky, usually has to be explained to a number of people and the line can be blurred from time to time. But overall, if you have spent several years in a relationship with this person, a friendship can be salvaged from it. I invested a lot of time, heart and soul into this relationship with Bubba. I am happy to say that even today I can call him a friend. He is still blunt, can hurt my feelings from time to time but in the same breath, can make me smile and remember why we are still friends. I still make him pay for dinner, I give him a hard time but at the end of the day, he is someone who knows me very differently than the rest of my friends.

He is also the one that after years of not wanting to commit to anyone, got married and is now telling me I need to settle down soon because I am not getting any younger. Thanks Bubba. . .

Sometimes trying to be friends with an ex is not possible, feelings are still there or there is no foundation to build an actual friendship. Maybe it takes a special person to make it possible to be friends. Maybe being friends was what it was supposed to be from the beginning. Or maybe it is just growing up and realizing that sometimes it was a blessing in disguise that things ended up the way they did. But I will still take issue with him telling me to hurry up and settle down.

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Tuesday Randomness

Since the weather is all over the place, I thought I would be all over the place with this Tuesday’s Randomness. And it is a way that you can shake your head at just how random I can be at times.

  • I am now up to 30 minutes on the elliptical, yes boys and girls, I am a hot mess on this machine but I have to say, I am pretty proud of myself.
  • The only downside to getting up to 30 minutes? The balls of my feet and my toes start to tingle the last five minutes or so. But I work through it because gosh darn it, I am going to finish what I started.
  • Dear Jessica Simpson, it is no longer a secret that you are pregnant, the jig is up, just confirm it already. Or stay indoors instead of shopping being photographed in form fitting tops.
  • I have been waking up craving Krispy Kreme chocolate glazed doughnuts, please make this stop.
  • While trying to be really good and not eat sweets, my really sweet neighbors brought over some homemade, just out of the oven peanut butter cookies! They were really good but I was even better because I am saving the last one for tomorrow.
  • Speaking of peanut butter cookies. . . the boy attempted to make some a few years ago. I took one bite and knew that he would never, ever be as accomplished in the baking department than me.
  • How do you mess up peanut butter cookies?
  • The show Property Virgins gets on my nerves. I think it is the host/realtor that bothers me.
  • I love Income Property though, the host is cute and anytime the prospect of ripping walls out or floors up always interest me.
  • I really need to hit one of those shoe stores that fits you for tennis shoes that are perfect for your feet, gait, etc. I have a really bad feeling about it though because my luck would be I would need specially made shoes with unicorn hair for the laces. . .
  • Is it November 11th yet? I am so ready to buy the last Harry Potter DVD, sniff. . .
  • I have already started watching Christmas movies. . .

And now the couch beckons me to get comfy and watch the fallout of Maks vs. Len. I adore both so I can’t pick a side. . .

SATC: Sexy? Nope! But a Winning Personality? Hells Yeah!

The second in the series of six posts based on quotes for the always entertaining Sex and The City.

Miranda: Smart, yes, sometimes cute, but never sexy. Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality.

Oh Miranda, your sarcastic wit, your ability to see that even the fullest glass is half full, kept me in stitches throughout the series. As the series went you, the writers softened you up a bit and then gave you a baby and a husband!

I have always jokes that I am a dork, a big dork. Willing to make fun of myself in the hopes that someone will laugh. Add in the klutz factor and I could be in a sitcom. I also have the humor of an adolescent boy so to be sexy for me would be well, wrong.

I have always been the friend, pat me on the head kind of girl. I remember a guy saying to be many years ago, be sexy. I think I did the snort/laugh combo because that is so not me. I wish I could be that girl that gets dressed up in the perfect skinny jeans, white oxford and killer heels and sashay my way through the room. In reality, I will trip over nothing and knock a glass of red wine down the front of my shirt.

I think my goofy personality is what kills that sexy vibe that might be deep down in me. I remember wearing this really nice black dress (and I have it in red too) that is simple, great to wear in the office and for those that do cocktails after work, dress it up for that. I walked into a coworker’s office a few years ago with it on and she was laughing and saying va va voom! I felt like I was playing dress up in the dress but apparently several people loved that one on me. But while the dress may say va va voom, I am thinking “crap! I hope I don’t fall down or forget to check if it gets tucked into my Spanx.”

So I will go with the personality and hope that at some point I can convey the sexy vibe. Although at the moment I think I am dwindling down on my favorite red lipstick from Clinique (which is no longer made, um, thanks for that) and to me, nothing says sexy like a pouty mouth in Cherry Cola lipstick. Of course I will need to make sure I didn’t rub it on my teeth. . .

Tuesday Randomness

A week has come and gone, while I listen to the rain fall and wait for the cooler weather to drop in, here is what is fit to publish. . .

  • Never post political thoughts on your Facebook page, you may end up beating yourself up for how you feel. While I am more of a work to earn it kind of gal, there is a part of me that wants my student loan debt to disappear. It will, unfortunately the big banks and the auto companies got the handouts and I will play by the rules
  • I just found out that my Granny and Popa’s house is on the market. While it isn’t ideal for me it breaks my heart knowing that it will not be in the family soon. My popa and his siblings helped build the extra rooms on the house; a lot of my childhood memories are there.
  • One Tree Hill is now streaming on Netflix, let’s just say I am loving it all over again.
  • Wook continues to hit the comforter and bed throughout the night until I roll over and pick him up. . . yes, he is spoiled.
  • I made chili this past weekend but instead of my old standby recipe I tried a new way, not too shabby!
  • In working out news, I was stupid last night and decided to do a couple of moves that I do in my intense workout at home. . . never workout without tennis shoes on. My shins hurt and didn’t really care for the workout earlier today.
  • I have let my laundry pile up, it isn’t dirty, it’s all clean; it’s just hanging out on my chair and a half. . .
  • I forgot to pick up another bag of food for Wookie today, he still has enough for the week but I meant to get it today. . . and if that weren’t bad enough, he is loving the Blue Buffalo brand. Of course he is a foodie, he’s mine!
  • I finally noticed on some of my lunch bowls I take to work, they have a one cup marking! Why haven’t I noticed that before?
  • One of my favorite sweeps segment, Where in the World is Matt Lauer? will be starting up next month! Yes please!
  • Now I must leave so I can figure out what I am going to wear tomorrow! It promises to be a nice chilly, rainy day! So excited! Bring on the snow!

Stay warm and dry since it looks like this is going to last for a bit!

SATC: I Am the Flystrip

Carrie: I do not pick the wrong guys. They pick me.

Miranda: So what, you’re like a flystrip for dysfunctional men?

Carrie: Yeah, but one of those really pretty, floral ones.

I had completely forgotten about this one and when I read it I couldn’t stop laughing. Let’s put this in real estate terms. . . you have the move in ready houses and then you have the fixer uppers. Seeing as how I have helped a few friends over the years remodel parts of their homes, I totally love the fixer uppers. But that is in real estate.

I have “house broken” quite a few guys who have gone on to meet and marry their true love. Am I bitter? Not really. There is a reason for why things didn’t work out in the past and I am okay with that. My issue seems to stem from the fact that I see so much potential in these guys, put a lot of love, nurturing and effort into the relationship and have t-shirts as party favors.

I have a knack for picking the wrong one, ask my mother. . . while Stacey and I nod in agreement that “this one is the one” with hearts and flowers dancing around our heads her husband J is sitting back shaking his head no. At one point I just wanted to have a first date and take them over to their house and let J do his thing and with a simple gesture be told if I needed to toss this one back.

Last Friday I learned that mom was actually very sad that I had walked away from DC. But it was that defining moment for me, knowing I was going away to school and knew I wanted to be all in instead of one foot in and the other a million miles away. And while my love life hasn’t been a cakewalk, I have learned a lot about myself along the way. Something that one of these days might actually pay the bills. Or it is a pipedream, but hey, I am cool with that.

The biggest reality I am dealing with now is I am in my late thirties, have lived on my own for quite some time and probably would be panicked if I had to share my space with someone all the time. Of course, for the right one, I would deal with it; I am not that stupid.

My history with guys is long, sorted and comical at points. My friends have stories to laugh about and remind me of, least I forget about the jhorts wearing, moving way to fast guy. And I have to battle with both my heart and my brain when it comes to men. I need to be logical and realistic yet my heart wants to leap and when that happens, well, things end up kind of messy.

So yes, I am the flystrip, a pretty one though. Bring all the guys with mama issues, self centered, no drive, treats me crappy my way. I will catch them, housebreak them and release them back out into the water. One of these days, a well adjusted one may show up and I might not freak out. And yes, I have issues. But let’s not delve into that just yet.

Something Old, Something New

I was playing on Pinterest this evening (really, that is a time sucking site, if there ever was one) and remembered I wanted to find a quote from Sex and the City. Yes, it is a girly show and it is only on in repeats now and let’s not even discuss the second movie, k?

I ended up finding several quotes that still make me laugh and thought, well, why not do a small series of blog posts based on the quotes? So there will be one, probably weekly for the next six weeks or so.

Why? While I cannot relate to the fab clothes, shoes, apartments or NYC, the basis of the series is what drew me in and my friends. It all began with an idea of gathering some girlfriends, have dinner and drink wine while watching the show. And boy, did we ever drink wine! I think at one point we could have lined my balcony with the bottles we went through (after a season, not just one or two episodes).

What I could relate to was the relationships; with my friends, with my boyfriends and career challenges. I could also relate to each of the characters (well, Samantha was always a stretch for me, blunt, to the point, crude sometimes, why yes, that is me. Overly friendly with the fellows, not me.) It was a series that finally pointed out that us girls will, at times, have discussions about our relationships and everything that could possibly go one behind closed doors. And who couldn’t relate when Charlotte went out on a date with a perfect on paper guy who was a horrible kisser or the time she dated someone who had anger management issues? Or the many times Carrie went back to Big and she would get hurt, all over again?

While our lives were never that dramatic, we enjoyed being together, laughing, eating and cringing at something that happened in that week’s episode. Ladies, I miss our Sunday nights together! But times have changed and as you spend those nights with your hubbies and babies (and babies to be!) we can all look back on our younger years and smile. We did it up right. . .

Tuesday Randomness

Here it is, another Tuesday and thank goodness this has flown by so quickly since the weekend flew all too fast around here.

  • I had my first real personal training session at the Y today. One more free one and then I am on my own.
  • Let’s just say I completely understand why some of the contestants on Biggest Loser throw up during a workout, I felt like that a couple of times.
  • Good news! The trainer thought I did well for such an intense workout. I have to work on my squats though.
  • I have yet another headache after working out. I am drinking a ton of water so I am not sure what this is from.
  • I may not be able to walk or get out of bed tomorrow morning, who wants to come help me get up?
  • Wookie has taken spoiled kitteh to a totally new level. Now he smacks at the comforter and frame near the top of the bed until I roll over and grab him. He is just too delicate to have to jump up on the bed.
  • The weather is just so cozy around here, all I wanted to do today was head back to the apartment, throw my jammies on and curl up on the couch.
  • I would love to have the trainer work with me a couple of times a month but at $40 a pop, that is not going to happen, I have shoes, clothes and who knows what else to purchase!
  • I treated myself to a diet Mountain Dew today but didn’t finish it, I was more concerned about drinking my water.
  • The world must be coming to an end when I prefer water over a diet soda
  • My car is back to having super powers again, I have almost been clipped a handful a times within the last week.
  • I need a neck massage, actually an all over one will do since I have a feeling that I am going to be in a lot of pain tomorrow.
  • I don’t remember it being this painful or difficult when I was packing on the pounds!
  • I have given my blood, sweat and tears to working out so I can get back into shape, last time I was dropping the weight I did shed tears but definitely not any blood or sweat. I guess I will take the weight of this way since I am not in the mood for depression or mono.

Now I think I am going to make the 509th trip to the bathroom to pee and then I think I will start thinking about going to bed. I am one really tired girl right now.

Girls Gone Wild or Is It Mild?

I think it would be more mild than wild. Friday night was spent with Bird and my mom. After a dinner at Chick Fil A (they have grilled chicken nuggets now!) with them and Bird’s husband and girls we headed to a movie. What’s Your Number? was funny although there were a few times I wanted to crawl underneath the seat since I happened to be sitting next to mom.

Anna Farris is funny and just like Emma Stone, I adore her! Although I kept waiting for her to do that low, creepy voice that she did in House Bunny. Her husband was also in the movie as one of her exes that she kept running into throughout the movie. Her neighbor in the movie is Chris Evans and I have a new appreciation for him. Yummy to look at and even I would jump into the Boston Harbor with him sans clothes!

As we were leaving the the theater I noticed a cardboard cutout for the newest Muppet movie, I gently sat on the “bench” for a giggle but promptly jumped up when mom offered to take a picture. No thanks mom. I can embarrass myself enough without you helping me.

It was then decided that we would run to Kohl’s to look at their jeans for Bird’s girls. That was a quick trip through the place since they were closing in ten minutes. I did catch a glimpse of JLo’s new line. Meh, they were okay. I am more of a classics kind of girl anyway, so the trendy stuff tends to not end up in my closet. After talking about maybe going somewhere else, the decision was made to go to WalMart. I am not a fan of going there but we were in the vicinity and since dad wanted me to make Beef Burgundy I thought it would kill two birds with one stone.

After stock piling the cart with a couple of my favorites since I am watching what I eat I got down to business and picked out all the ingredients for the dish. Is it sad that I can now just think about what I need instead of referencing the actual recipe. In fact, I can now make it without really checking the cookbook.

I did go with one change. This is a stew that needs to sit in the oven for a few hours and the beef tips that I normally get end up breaking apart into smaller pieces. This time I got a roast and cut it up. Much better! I believe this was my best batch yet. After getting through the store we headed to my place so I could run Bridesmaids down to mom. She didn’t like it. But she liked The Hangover, I am beginning to think that when it comes to crude comedy, she doesn’t have an issue with men being crude but women? She doesn’t like that. And she was blessed with a daughter who burps, a lot. One of my favorite lines in the movie? Melissa McCarthy’s character in the bridal salon burps/farts and she says, “I am not even confident about which end that came out of.” Umm, classic!

The boy called around that time giving me a hard time about calling at the end of the Cardinals game, sorry about that. I just don’t follow baseball, so it is so hard for me to even keep up with this whole playoffs thing. And what did we talk about? Food! I swear, between talks of food, football and exercise we never end up talking about anything else. But we are both foodies, so it tends to happen more than naught that the topic comes up.

So that was my mild Friday night! The rest of the weekend consisted of cooking and watching football. See, one track mind (well two. . . )

Now it is time for the sad panda face since it is Sunday night and I need to get ready for work tomorrow.

Show Us Your Life: Pets!

This is a repost from last month, all about my cat. Since this one has tons of pictures, I thought I would go ahead and copy it for Kelly’s Show Us Your Life post.  http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/
I hope you all enjoy a look into the world that is Wookie. Little man is spoiled!

 

I got my little man 12 years ago next month, adopted from the shelter in Cleveland. He was a tiny, little thing; all ears and he fit in the palm of my hand. A wild little man from the get go, my dad got teary eyed when he met him. We had lost Louis six months before and Wook was a spitting image of him. Dad quickly changed his mind of wanting him after a week of kitten sitting a few weeks after I had adopted him.

While Wookie is a spirited cat, he has brought me years of comfort, love, tons of cuddles and a few scars. After several moves, boyfriends, jobs and who knows what else, little man is still here, still shedding like crazy and still very mouthy.

Little man may have his issues but I am very proud to be his mama. A snuggle bug who requires human interaction daily, these past 12 years have been filled with creative disciplining, power cords chewed through, bathing suit straps and bras destroyed, hairballs, paws in my mouth and so much more.

One interesting fun fact, only pepper keeps him away from the Christmas tree, he actually likes Tabasco sauce. . .

Here are a few pictures of my little man and yes, I am quite crazy about him.

Wookie all snuggled in next to me napping
Studious Wook
Pick me up!
This is what my mom does to me each Christmas. . .
Ready for bed, come on!
Getting ready for the snow
Paw prints in the snow
Neener, neener
I could have sworn there was food in here!
Life is rough for a baby you know. . .

Getting My Skinny On

Well, I am working towards it anyway. . .

I thought I would give an update on how things are going because I think actually putting this out there keeps me accountable. Or it is simply I just don’t want to fall flat on my face.

So far I have managed to ditch 11 1/2 pounds! And yes, I am so counting that half pound. A lot of my struggles have been drinking water, keeping up the pace working out and eating enough. Full disclosure, I have been using the boy as a sounding board and for support. I am not really sure why his support is what is keeping this going (well, a bit of shopping on him kind of helps) but it is. Between emails and catching up every so often on the phone, it has launched me further in my resolve to get rid of the excess weight.

Of course one of the funnier moments came when I told him I sometimes curse him in my head while on the elliptical. I am distracted for a good bit of that time watching ESPN but normally that last five minutes I am hurting, tired and just want to quit. So I tend to tear him down all in my head. So I apologize to the boy for using him as a punching bag but dang! It really helps!

Then the second half of my workout is all the weight machines. With an eclectic mix of music, I go about my routine torturing my body further. I also have to remember that other people are around so I don’t sing or start dancing. I am loving the machine that works out my calves. See, I was never  one to be all about the toning of muscles, I just wanted to be skinny. But then I took a look at Bird’s calves and have to say, I am quite jealous. Girlfriend has some defined calves!

Between that and the two machines that work out your back and tummy, well, I could stay on those three all day. That was until this afternoon when I noticed a slanted weight bench that you could lock your legs on. Memories of doing situps with a medicine ball flooded my brain and I jump on it faster than a vat of chocolate at The Melting Pot. I hate normal, lay on the floor situps. They hurt and I tend to give up but using this little bench makes all the difference. I didn’t use a medicine ball this afternoon only because I didn’t want to hurt myself. Maybe next week. . . but I did manage to get through one and a half reps (so 15 total) and for an out of shape shlub I think that is just awesome.

I am sore, tired and need someone to come over and help me stretch everything back out because it isn’t pretty. And Wookie isn’t very helpful when it comes to me trying to get off the potty after peeing. Which I do all the time now thanks to all the water I am drinking.

Now to the food. . .I am not all that hungry. I checked with the boy about this issue because I don’t want my body thinking it is in panic mode. According to an app on my phone I need to eat 1,200 calories a day. I am doing good to get to that point (well, just a bit under) when I have an off day from the gym. But when you add the workout in, well then I drop a whole lot. So for the time being I am trying to get as close as I can to hitting that number daily and not worry about it.

I think I am going to take tomorrow off from the gym, but who knows. I may go ahead and workout since I am into a really good grove. Plus the taunting of my skinny jeans and a shopping trip is just too much to just sit on my duff.