The One Where I Fall on My Tush


Why yes, if there is a way to harm myself, I seem to find it. This time, thankfully, it was a graceful fall, per my trainer who I am still convinced is quite evil. The gym was packed today and we kept to one area while doing a portion of my session.

I was doing what I guess you would call some type of squat. I start by laying on the mat, do a crunch, grab the bar and stand up. The whole point of this exercise is to strengthen my tummy and legs. I get through two of them and my trainer is saying, good job, great form! Yeah! I am doing something right!

Unfortunately number three was when the bar popped up and I landed firmly on my tush. He did compliment me saying that had I not yelped in shock it would have looked like I hadn’t fallen. I may have an ample tush but that little fall hurt.

I am really liking the whole hiring a trainer although it takes days for me to feel normal again. My walk looks all kinds of wonky and no matter how hard I try, I tend to flop onto the toilet seat because my legs are killing me.

Oh and I smell like an old man. For those that know me, I have a serious soft spot for little old men. I think they are adorable. But let’s just say that the scent of Icy Hot is not one of my favorite things to smell. I got desperate last Thursday evening after hurting so bad that even ibuprofen wasn’t helping and picked up a bottle of that stuff. It doesn’t mesh well with Amazing Grace by Philosophy. Just saying.

The rest of the workout went smoothly until I told him I was thinking not so nice things about him. Thank goodness this kid has a sense of humor. After the torture of the treadmill (with an incline of 13, seriously, that is just wrong) he had me hit the elliptical for seven minutes. He even got on the one next to me and we watched Tim Tebow say he was excited about playing for the Jets 45 times. I asked him if he thought Tebow was excited and then figured it might have been his word for the day.

Now I am off to basically bathe in the Icy Hot and pray that I can walk tomorrow. Or be able to lift Wookie to the bed without dropping him tonight. All I can say is, I can’t wait to start seeing some results because this has to be one of the most sadistic ways I have spent money, ever.

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