There are days where I could give my effort a solid C. My job is going well, it just sucks everything out of me, I am working out anywhere from five days a week to three….largely due to work which sometimes changes things up.
While I am feeling more settled in terms being alone dealing with the broken heart, there are times when I feel like the crying jag is just around the corner, I never know what will set it up. I don’t smile like I used to and sometimes I feel like it takes a huge effort. Of course as I see friends they do the head tilt thing while asking me how I am doing. Um, hanging in there.
I know my friends and family are worried and just want me to be happy…it’s just how do I do that? Working out daily really does help get the frustration out or at least takes it down a notch. In the end, I know I shut down.
I have been researching the eating clean which I think I will modify. It gives me something to do, I have been reading as well, a little of this and a little of that. And with football season just around the corner so I am hoping that that will help put things in place. I miss him but I can’t chase him and debate this. He made up his mind and cut me out.
And I believe that in life not everyone ends up with someone. It makes me sad but I guess the big man upstairs has other plans for me. I just never thought it would focus on me being alone.