Seven years ago I inherited panic attacks from my father and his father…a quick trip to the ER with Stace where the beeps that kept sending my anxiety go up a few notches.
But after what felt like months, my meds kicked in and I learned how to cope. To learn how to rely on people was the toughest part, life went on and for fun I moved a couple of times because well…that is what I do.
Work became a bit much for me, the stress, the worry, the desire to move, make changes ended up being the catalyst to cycle panic attacks. Which is scary and by the time I met up with my wonderful doctor, I knew I have fallen into a rabbit hole. We knew that this could always happen but our last conversation was about how thrilled I was to be off all the meds.
Doctors orders–back on the meds and I had to do Xanax 3 times a day. I didn’t want to but I also know that the quicker I jump onto this mess and got some control the better my life would be…
While I would love to be med free, My mental health, the anxiety that can grip me to the point where I don’t want to try anything overrules those desires to be drug free. I will take the meds and strive to be the very best I can be.
I also know that for me, I want to be happy but I will not settle and if being alone makes me happy, than I am okay with that. Good family and friends is all I need….oh and my most favorite neurotic little man Wook.
I can see the light, the goodness and that I will be alright. And really, that’s the best answer to any question,