So, as I had mentioned in a previous post, Stace tried to set me up but that went over like a lead ballon. I was open to it and with some encouragement from friends even reached out to start the ball rolling. This is huge for me because well, my track record with men sucks.
As as I was laughing about it earlier this week (thank God I have a sense of humor) Stace relayed that more than likely it was because I wasn’t “wounded” enough. It appears that the good on paper would be setup likes to be the knight on the white horse. He likes his women to be damsels in distress.
To say I dodged a bullet is an understatement and the fact that he needs this in order to feel loved is kind of sad. I’ve spent years trying to build up the fragile egos of the men I’ve dated, tried being meek and the beyond supportive girlfriend and with each relationship, it’s fallen apart.
A relationship needs to be about partnership, supportive yes, but as equals. If I have heard it once, I’ve heard it a million times from my dad…you can only count on yourself, be financially independent…the list is long on what makes a relationship succeed. Also, you partner should accept you for you. Not a thinner version or a more demure or, insert whatever trait you feel important.
I’ve been accused of being too picky, of settling or having a type I need to stear away from since those didn’t work out. Or worse…those that are married telling me I’m not missing much. I get it, it’s your way of trying to make me feel better about the fact that I’m single. But seriously, none of it makes me feel better. I always thought I would be married with a couple of kids by 40 and that isn’t my reality.
Most days I don’t dwell on it but there are moments when I am sad, frustrated and convinced that I must have done something to deserve this, right or wrong it’s how I feel. So getting this tidbit that I’m just not wounded enough is comical yet it pisses me off. But at least I know that even with all the challenges, broken heart and dreams I’m not all that broken.
But if there are any single women out there that need a knight in shining armor to rescue them, I know of a cute guy that wants just that. And if there are any guys out there that don’t have an issue with a strong, independent woman, let me know…I may not be a size two but I can cook, I’m funny and I love football.