The One Where It Ends

There are times in my life when I think things can’t get any better and then times when I think life can’t get any shittier. This is a post about both, at the same time, because this is my life we are talking about. . .

I moved back home (Nashville) a little over three years ago, taking a position with a company that I was very familiar with and had thought, gee, I would really love to work there. While I loved my job, my coworkers, etc. my boss was umm, a challenge. The boss kind of reminded me of my orthodontist. . . I wouldn’t wear my rubber bands on my braces and my next visit would be, Wow! Great job! but then the following month I would wear them and he would say, This is horrible!. Yes, someone talking out of both sides of their mouth yet not really making any sense. That was my boss. In the end, after much back and forth I took a leap of faith and ended up with a job that I feel like is a better fit for me.

I have had bad bosses before, I have had coworkers who were bullies and I have also had the pleasure of working for family (something I don’t recommend). But with each challenge I have always kept plugging away because, well my parents aren’t wealthy and even if they were, I was cutoff a while back. I have always taken away with me new lessons, reminders to always be kind and grace to not burn bridges.

But the personal side of my life has taken a hit as well. One week before I start my new job I am relearning how to be on my own. Trying to not beat myself up too much but I do feel like an idiot. While I don’t believe I did anything wrong, I am embarrassed. Maybe that is a gene Allan didn’t get when the good Lord was passing out feelings. The Bug took the news okay, at least that is what he told me. I opted out of that discussion.

I pray that whatever it is he is looking for he finds it but I don’t want him darkening my doorstep with apologies.

It is hard to find yourself feeling so grateful for having this little family to call your own and then it is gone the next day. I remember several times when we were spending time with his siblings and their significant others, feeling overwhelmed that these were my people. That I had lucked into such a warm, opening family, cause let’s face it. . . I have had the opposite experience before (umm, Bubba’s family?!).

So here is to new beginnings on all fronts of my life because hey, when it comes to really stinking up the joint, I do a great job.


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