The One Where I’m Too…


I haven’t had a date since, well I can’t remember…my last boyfriend spent more time lying and cheating while I cooked, cleaned and spent time with his daughter. The good news is he is with the one he cheated with and they are perfect for each other. I am grateful we have both moved on and I hope never to be that naive or dumb again.

I have gone back and forth on the whole dating thing, I’ve connected with some interesting men but they never follow-thru or as I’ve learned, they’ve ghosted me. This whole dating thing is not evening dating. Text messages do not equate real conversations and apparently my demographic has turned into the world’s laziest men.

The hard part is being told I’m too independent, too optionated, too picky, too intimidating…or as one male friend said to me, “they just say that because they’re not interested but don’t want to say that.” Seriously, who needs enemies when I have some friends so willing to be cruel?

But let’s look at the first descriptor, too independent: My dad drilled this thought into my head: do not depend on anyone else. (Not his exact words but you get the idea)

I have spent my adult life working my ass off so I don’t have to ask for help, rely on others and when I do ask for help I want to kick my own ass thinking I could figure out a way to do it on my own. I’ve also heard my male friends complain enough about clingy, needy women.

So exactly what do men want, because you can’t have it both ways…and seriously, is the male species that stupid to not realize that wanting someone in your life is a whole lot better than needing someone. Or are their egos just that fragile?

The same friend who says he’s just being honest says he likes his women hot and crazy. Apparently there is a perfect ratio of crazy and hot. And those of us who are sane, independent, capable that might not have that hot body are left in the cold.

I do love the too picky label because in the same breath I am told that X was an ass, lazy, horrible, ect. (and the X equates to several exes). So don’t settle but you’re too picky? Yeah, I don’t get it either.

So far now I guess I will hang with my way too independent, optionated, picky self, oh and the Wookster.

 

 

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