There are times when I truly think my life should be one of those cheesy romantic comedies. .. well, light on the romantic, heavy on the comedy. I’ve joked before about exes popping back up in my life. I even did a brief tour to visit boyfriends from the past last year.
Of course, nothing could prepare me for the boy coming back into my life. Sure, we live less than five miles from each other, our offices are less than a mile away but running into him? Nah. In fact I had put the boy in the file marked old history. My trip through the past last year allowed me to go back to DC and make peace with what I considered a disaster of a trip.
Of course every time you think that your past is in fact comfortably sitting in the past, it does like to pop up. As usual, the boy didn’t have my phone number but he had my email address. Something tragic had happened and he needed a friend. He knew he didn’t deserve it but he was asking anyway. So I called.
He told me what happened and some of it went right over my head because I was in shock. I was having a hard time putting it all together and could only say I was sorry to hear that. The boy apologized for being an asshole to me, being a shitty friend, all the stuff that Bubba had said all those years ago. He went on to say that he would appreciate meeting up for a drink at some point but then prefaced it with he didn’t want me to think he was using me and that he wasn’t just leaning on me because it’s easy (well something to that effect, it’s been a few months). And in perfect self defense mode (ala making fun of myself so there would be no way I could ever be rejected) I explained that I had gained a lot of weight and that there wouldn’t be one ounce of attraction for me. . .
Then in a small voice he said, I just want you to be healthy.
Maybe his reading my blog made him see some things, maybe it didn’t. Maybe the women who came after me made he learn a lesson. I don’t know but that was the very first time he responded with a neutral comment about my health and not something about losing weight or some kind of goal I should have for myself.
After watching DC guy react to how I looked last year I was at least prepared for some kind of reaction from the boy. I mean, this isn’t a few extra pounds, it is quite a bit and it affects everything in my life now. To his credit, he didn’t let his reaction show. Now I can come up with all kinds of things probably running through his mind however I torture myself enough with the harsh words, so we will skip this part.
We talked on the phone, texted, met for a drink and when the shit would hit the fan, he leaned on me to vent. I may suck at romantic relationships but I rock the friend one. And just like that, it was as if no time had passed and we were old friends. I will say, I have some bitterness with eHarmony because the boy was a perfect match. We got along, had tons in common, could talk for hours but (because there is always a but) where I was flexible (to the point of being steamrolled by almost any guy I dated) he was rigid. If I willingly gave up control of the tv for a program he rarely did so for me. The boy let me in to a degree when we were dating but kept some walls up.
And maybe that is why by the time Chandler got me, he had a lot of demo work to do. Why let someone in, be so open, showing everything about you when the other person only shows snippets? You don’t get as hurt that way.
The boy has grown as a person and I now have that relationship I had with Bubba with him. I can be honest, tell him that I think something is stupid because I don’t have anything to lose. I am probably quite mean to him when it comes to being blunt. Its a gift that was born out of the rubble from the Bubba debacle.
We’ve hit that nice stretch where we are friends, we will go to dinner, talk about concerts and sports. It is nice. I watched his face when we were at Iron Maiden last month. Pure joy to be seeing one of his favorite bands. It’s the look I imagined I had for most of my trip to NYC last Christmas, when something you love so much becomes a reality.
I hate that the reason he popped back into my life was because of a tragedy within his life but I guess when you need friends, you need them. Hopefully he will find peace and happiness in the future. As for now, I will enjoy talking food and sports with him.