A lot has changed in the world of dating. Ten years ago it was a big freakin deal to even do the internet dating. Now there is an app for any and all kinds of dating. Wanna hook up? Wanna date a Jew? A farmer? Looking for same sex options? You name it, they have it.
Which begs the question, why didn’t I major in program development? But I digress… I work with some young kids. I am often reminded of what my life used to look like as well as what it would look like if I were their age. I’ll pass on both options. They did suggest Bumble, a dating app that makes the female reach it first once a match is made. Think Tinder but less sleazy.
Ive tried it off and on in the past year, with little success. There was one guy, Bradley, that seemed cool but it never went anywhere. I think he was hedging his bets with multiple options and instead of saying, hey, I’m dating someone, he just poofed. Another guy I kind of got to know was interesting but I just couldn’t pull the trigger to met him. Too much time to think about it which makes it virtually impossible for me to follow through.
And then this joker…moved here a year ago from Alabama, my age…not necessarily my type but since I’m not getting any younger and I’m no longer that tiny little thing from ten years ago, I kept an open mind. He seemed funny and the online chatting seemed to be easy. He asked to meet up for a drink that evening. Ok, not giving me time to analyze so I say ok.
First impressions…no spark. He was funny but red flags starting flying. We are at a place on my side of town. He doesn’t offer to pay for my drink, no problem. We sit and start chatting when one of his buddies walks by and they start to chat. Weird vibes as they talk and then both start asking if I have single friends for a double date.
Nashville is no longer a small big town, bumping into people you know, especially when you are across town from where you live doesn’t happen often. And these two jokers are chatting, sizing me up and just all around weird with red flags flying. His friend finally leaves and guy starts asking a ton of questions. But the best part was when he explained he felt like I was a red flag because I haven’t been married nor had children by 43. He decided to give me a chance though. Wow, how charitable.
When I explained that while I had really wanted to get married and have kids, it just hadn’t happened, he began asking what was wrong with me. Umm, ok. I guess the only real mark against me is my taste in men. I have heard stories of women giving ultimatums, manipulating the situation to get their own way as well as guys just relenting and saying, well, we’ve dated this long, guess this is the next step.
Do you know where most of those examples are now? Divorced.
When I asked him about his time being married and his kids, the only response I got was, they’re grown. He refused to give any details that pertained to him. But he felt comfortable enough to discuss how I was dressed, that I needed to wear heels, be more feminine and what size I was in actual clothing. Nice eh?
I knew it was time to cut and run. He kept asking if he could come to my house to watch hockey. Umm no, I just met you. He then walked me to my car, tried to kiss me, when I stepped back he asked to come back to my place again and then tried to kiss me again. Short of knocking him out cold, I told him I barely knew him, he was not welcome in my home nor was I interesting kissing him.
I drove off, ran a couple of errands and cringed at what a horrible experience it had been. The next day he texted twice and called once. I politely responded with the following, “you e given me plenty to think about as I didn’t realize my lack of marriages and kids were red flags. At this time, I am going to work on me. Thanks.” And then I blocked him and deleted the app.
What did I learn? That apparently as long as you can say you were married it doesn’t matter. Settle up ladies and gents! Because those divorcées will judge you if you haven’t been married and had kids with a variety of people.
Umm yeah, I think I’ll just wait and if it happens, great. If not, at least I’m alone for the right reasons and not in a relationship for the wrong reasons. And those with multiple exes can judge me. Cheers!