Well hot damn! I guess I am going to breathe some life back into this mess of a blog AND bring back Tuesday Randomness. .. this was always a great exercise when I used to write all the time. I could pull random thoughts out of my head and call it a day. Some may call it a trip to crazy town but I call it Tuesday.
So. . . I’ve written a ton about my anxiety/depression. I did a little experiment a few years ago where I stopped taking my happy pretty me pills. . . for about six months and then the anxiety attacks decided it would be fun to cycle like they did right before I was diagnosed. Lesson learned. . . don’t go off your meds. I can handle depression, I know what to do, how to handle the day to day but anxiety attacks can only have so many coping mechanisms and then the house of cards crash down.
Gen Xers were probably the first group to really be open about mental health and even within my generation, I am sure we are a cagey bunch. However we did not have a ton of kids running around with food allergies (it truly was a rarity growing up to come across a peanut allergy) and we weren’t diagnosed with sensory issues, ADHD or any of the other conditions that kids today are being diagnosed. I am sure some of it is the environment now. . . foods being over processed, etc. our diets and lifestyles.
However I will say that for someone to be taken to the school counselor or parents being encouraged to delve deeper into a kid’s issues when I was growing up was nonexistent. Sure, if a child went to an extreme but like with any other mental health issue, it takes all kinds. In my case, I have been dealt a diagnosis of ADHD. I didn’t think it was possible even after reading up on it, answering all kinds of questions because hey, we all have issues.
But the one question that kind of brought it all together and made the lightbulb go off was, “how did I do in school?” Umm, well if it was a subject I loved, no problem but if I had little to no interest, forget it. Especially as I got older. I was always able to cope because when you are young, it is no big deal to bounce around and just get by. But why did I go seek out help at this point?
Oh, that’s right, I couldn’t read for 20 minutes solid. Who cares if I remember tasks like pay bills or cleaning the house? Work? Sure I can juggle that, no biggie. Except I wasn’t doing well on any of it. I didn’t care because I could still fly through a book. And when I couldn’t I started noticing I was always shaking a foot, an arm or jumping from one task to the next without finishing one.
After being poked, prodded and the asked a million questions. . . they opted to put me on a med. And you know what? I can tell a difference. I can stick to a task, get items checked off, even the crap things I don’t want to do. . .I go through them and am so focused that I almost giggle each time I realize it.
Oh and my reading habit? I have been on the meds for about two months now, I have read close to 16 books. I am a fast reader and the fact that I was dragging and couldn’t read because I had to keep switching from book, to game to some other app on my iPad was killing me. So it wasn’t work or my personal life that was taking some kind of hit because of my lack of focus. .. it was my in ability to fly through a book that made me stand up and take action.
Oops! But seriously for those who think something might be off with them health wise. . . have a chat with your doctor. There is a chance that it could really make a difference in your life.