Adulting in 2018

While those crazy millennials keep turning nouns into verbs and calling themselves cool, I will take on the adulting word that we all mock. I am in a unique position, at almost 44 (dear lord say it ain’t so!) I still sometimes live like I am in my early 20s.

With no spouse or kids (or major debt, well except for student loans) I get to enjoy the spoils of having a nice size disposable income. I am also enjoying not having a car payment, so between my entertainment budget and travel budget, life isn’t all that bad for me. I can also opt for cereal for dinner or leave my clothes in a pile because it’s just me!

But I did have to adult on Friday morning and it did make me a little pissy (actually a lot because really, I hate spending the money on practical stuff). I got to purchase four brand new tires for my car (they really should last much longer than they do). I also need to do the whole maintenance check since I am getting close to 60K miles. I looked over the items that need to be checked/replaced and I feel fairly confident that I could do most of the work myself although my parents have no faith in my ability. But on the upside, I decided that I deserved a new Nashville Predators jersey since we are creeping up on my birthday. I can’t wait for my Ellis jersey to get here!

Of course I would have preferred to spend the tire money on shoes, travel or even more hockey but I was a good adult and did the responsible thing. I will continue to bitch about it though because I can. Oh yeah and I am single, so it’s basically me whining to the Wookster about it. And he doesn’t care as long as I keep giving him the good food.

Sometimes adulting can be fun but then there are times like now where I have to make grown up decisions about the Wookster. He is in kidney failure (or kidney disease, I am not sure and don’t want to have the conversation with the vet again). Currently we are doing the special diet, iv fluids and blood pressure meds. It isn’t easy, there are times where he is in no mood to have me insert an IV into him and last month he decided he didn’t like the can food that was a part of his special diet. So the momma bear in me say screw it, I am getting his Blue Buffalo can food that he loved. We are taking it day by day. I am trying to get comfortable with the idea that he won’t be around. I talk to him about it and I am spending a lot more time at home. I canceled planned trips and will not be traveling because I can’t leave him. Not even for one night.

I know some will mock me but we’ve been together for 18 years and when you are single with no kids, the fur kind become your babies. I have had two friends tell me that as their guardians we have to take their wellbeing into consideration and make those hard choices. I am still trying to toughen up so I can do that. Stace has a room reserved for me that is nice and padded when the day arrives. My employer knows that I will miss at least a day. And I still have a hard time even thinking about the future without him.

I would much rather deal with the debacle of hockey tickets (half vs full season), training for the 5K I am doing next month, going without chocolate and I would even consider cleaning my place on a weekly basis. But I am taking everything day by day and being grateful for what I have, which is really the key to life.

There are times when I am hard on myself for my choices or how my life has unfolded but then I realize I wouldn’t be where I am if it had turned out differently. I am me because of my experiences.