The One Where I Fall on My Tush

Why yes, if there is a way to harm myself, I seem to find it. This time, thankfully, it was a graceful fall, per my trainer who I am still convinced is quite evil. The gym was packed today and we kept to one area while doing a portion of my session.

I was doing what I guess you would call some type of squat. I start by laying on the mat, do a crunch, grab the bar and stand up. The whole point of this exercise is to strengthen my tummy and legs. I get through two of them and my trainer is saying, good job, great form! Yeah! I am doing something right!

Unfortunately number three was when the bar popped up and I landed firmly on my tush. He did compliment me saying that had I not yelped in shock it would have looked like I hadn’t fallen. I may have an ample tush but that little fall hurt.

I am really liking the whole hiring a trainer although it takes days for me to feel normal again. My walk looks all kinds of wonky and no matter how hard I try, I tend to flop onto the toilet seat because my legs are killing me.

Oh and I smell like an old man. For those that know me, I have a serious soft spot for little old men. I think they are adorable. But let’s just say that the scent of Icy Hot is not one of my favorite things to smell. I got desperate last Thursday evening after hurting so bad that even ibuprofen wasn’t helping and picked up a bottle of that stuff. It doesn’t mesh well with Amazing Grace by Philosophy. Just saying.

The rest of the workout went smoothly until I told him I was thinking not so nice things about him. Thank goodness this kid has a sense of humor. After the torture of the treadmill (with an incline of 13, seriously, that is just wrong) he had me hit the elliptical for seven minutes. He even got on the one next to me and we watched Tim Tebow say he was excited about playing for the Jets 45 times. I asked him if he thought Tebow was excited and then figured it might have been his word for the day.

Now I am off to basically bathe in the Icy Hot and pray that I can walk tomorrow. Or be able to lift Wookie to the bed without dropping him tonight. All I can say is, I can’t wait to start seeing some results because this has to be one of the most sadistic ways I have spent money, ever.

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Tuesday Randomness

Oh sweet Tuesday, sometimes you take forever to get here. This post is brought to you by novicane, temps and multiple dental visits.

  • I feel like my life revolves around going to the dentist. What was supposed to be my last visit for a nice long time last month ended up being rescheduled. . . then I forgot about that appointment. Life happened and I finally got back there today only to learn that the lab still messed up my crown. Seriously?
  • I have a brand new temp on the tooth and if the stars align, I hop on one leg while curling my tongue, I just might get the permanent one next week.
  • For good measure, the dentist opted to numb me up to deal with this troublesome tooth. .  .back on the soup diet again.
  • Chattanooga is in love with the roundabout even though most people don’t understand them. I had the pleasure of driving through one that is still an all sides stop last night. Apparently dude in Camry didn’t think he should have to stop, neither did the two cars before him. He didn’t like me laying on the horn but I am a bit like a New York taxi driver, you cut me off, almost hit me or anything that might seem unpleasent to me and I will lay on it until you turn red.
  • We may have found the answer to mom’s health issues and it all has to do with how she sleeps. She took her first sleep study last night and they said it was terrible. I think I shall start calling her Darth Vadar. . .
  • It is great to know that it isn’t her heart but it is scary to think that in just a few short months she went from doing most of the yard work to walking across the house or running errands caused her to feel really out of breath and tired. That is not my mother. In fact, had she been feeling better a few weeks ago I could only imagine how clean she would have gotten my place to look.
  • Changing my meds seems to be working in terms of weight. Currently I have dropped 23 lbs only, umm, let’s see, 50 to 60 more to go. Why can’t my Dyson help me out with this issue. I am also going to through some money at the isse and take on a personal trainer at the Y. I need someone pushing me, yelling at me. I want to be in my little clothes this summer. I have some things to prove to myself.
  • I haven’t been eating a ton due to being sick and that horrible dark hole that is trying to get me to crawl into it. I don’t want to go there but I see myself retreating. Friends, don’t worry, I will get out of the funk, you just have to let me feel it, work through it and accept it.
  • I found the cutest Lilly Pullitzer patchwork dress on ebay that I most have. . . This is going to be the year of cute clothes, no back fat, more writing, visiting Sonia in Baltimire as well as a visit to Chicgao to visit Candy, I may not make a ton of money but I want to get out there, walk around, emerse myself and write. Oh and hit a few restaurants that make me giddy.
  • After we get mom’s breathing/sleeping situation handled, we will then be planning our girls trip down to St Pete. This isn’t my kind of trip, but mommy loves it, Robin loves it and somewhere in the mix of things I am allowed to drink at night.
  • Some mornings I wake up thinking it was all a bad dream and then I remember it wasn’t. I have good days and bad days. It is more about understanding that those feelings buried deep last summer never went away. I miss him. I should have done better than I did.
  • Each day will get a bit better and my pain is so silly compared to his mom and sisters as well as the kids. I pray for them daily,.
  • I talked to Bubba tonight, what a mess he is. Love him but we both joke how we both dodged that bulliet. He’s happy and doing well. I am so proud of him. Of course he lectured me about choices, I highly believe Bubba and Chandler would have had quite a few laughs at my expense.
  • The crude that I have had for over two weeks now, still here, Maybe it could take me to dinner and a movie, send me tullips at work. A girl can dream.

And now I am off to slumber land. Wook deserves and early bedtime and that means Snuggles!