The One With the Longest Week

Most of the time, it seems like the weeks fly by and I am usually thinking, how is it already (enter month, holiday, season, what have you)?! However, this past week has felt like the longest week ever. To be fair, I typically spend most of the time thinking exactly what day it is because of the work I do (I normally work two to three months in advance). The added layer of confusion is I desk share (awesome program by the way!) that has my desk partner and I switching our remote days each week. I like to think of it as a way to really exercise my brain.

But then there are weeks like this past one that I kind of have to stop, scratch my head and wonder what in the world I did to end up with a week like this. Work has been hectic, but that is normal. I also prefer to be busy, as long as I can manage to keep up with the work. But it was the rest of my life, the one that isn’t consumed with work, that felt off most of the week.

There were a couple of bright spots, Wednesday I went to see Queen + Adam Lambert with Chandler’s mom and older sister. Besides enjoying spending some time with them (which included dinner at Hattie B’s) we headed downtown to my second home. We walked around the second floor by the Patron Club while I gave them some tidbits about the arena, the Preds and pointed out pictures of past performers and players displayed on the walls. Once on the main floor, we hit the merchandise booth and for the first time in forever, I bought a shirt.

I knew we had great seats just by reading the seat assignment but the reality was far better than I could have imagined. We were the section next to the stage, about nine rows up. Well hello there Queen + Adam Lambert! There was no opening act, so it started later than most concerts. But once the show started, I was a happy clam, thankful that I bit the bullet and paid what I paid to attend.

Adam Lambert addressed the big ole pink elephant in the room almost immediately. There is only one Freddie Mercury and he felt really honored to be working with two legends. Then they went back to the music. If you watched my FaceBook live feed, you would notice that most of the time, my camera was fixed on Brian May or Roger Taylor. I like Adam Lambert but I was there to see two of my heroes perform, an opportunity I had never believed would happen.

The show was fast paced, loud, full of energy with touching tributes to Freddie interspersed through the show. And I had a couple of moments where I got teary eyed, Brian May came out while the others rested/changed to talk to us. He then did the acoustic version of Love of My Life, one of Freddie’s songs he used to sing all of the time. And I almost lost it. Then later in the show they did Who Wants to Live Forever and once again I got teary eyed. Or as Chandler would have said, CRYBABY! Yeah, I will own that.

That concert for me was one that I never dreamed of attending. I love Freddie Mercury, having listened to a heavy rotation of Queen growing up. His voice and personality was larger than life and the world is a little dimmer having lost him but May and Roger, along with Lambert managed well. And I can say that I have now clapped along with the crowd during Radio Ga Ga. I feel pretty special now.

But between lack of sleep, the week taking it’s sweet time to get to the weekend and the weather (summer can go away, right now, not going to miss it). I was in a funk.  I have also been rereading a series that apparently affects my mood (I will take it off the rotation after this round). By the time I got home Friday from work I was a wound up mess. And beyond grateful that I had two days to decompress and adjust my attitude.

That whole am I imagining things or could something really be there seems to more in my head than reality. And yes, that pissed me off too because hello, I know better. Been there, done that and it never ends the way I think it should. So then I did the whole lecturing myself for being so stupid, letting the walls down a bit and all that fun stuff. As I have said plenty of times before, I am my own worst enemy.

So I have spent the weekend reading, napping, running a few errands, getting a mani/pedi and finally the last bright spot for the week. I went to the Preds Used Equipment Sale today and that was pretty cool. I ended up with my favorite ginger Canadian’s hockey stick (Ryan Ellis) which I will work on mounting on my wall with my vast collection of hockey pucks.

So all in all, it was a really long week that was meh with reminders of what I should not do. If I were a brave person, I would just have a chat with the person but after everything he has been through keeping my big mouth shut is the better option. Here’s hoping to a decent week with a Monday that flies (because we all know I hate Mondays).

Tuesday Randomness

It’s going to be one of those weeks again, I can just feel it. . . when I get a Monday off it always ends up throwing the rest of the week off. I’ll suck it up and deal with it because it is nice to have an extra day off though! It is really cold here but per the weather report, next week will be almost like a heatwave. Mother Nature has a bit of ADD.

  • No matter where I am, what I am doing or how long it has been since I last heard it. . . Love Shack by the B52s will always make me think of hitting I75 South to Atlanta. 
  • Stu shared infinite wisdom with me the other day, if only our love lives could be directed by John Hughes. . .
  • Mine would most definitely end with Jake, a birthday cake and sitting on the table enjoying it. . .
  • As a Steelers fan, I have huge issues with cheering for the Ravens but when it comes to having to choose between them or the Pats? Yeah, I’m going to pull for the Ravens.
  • If there was an MVP for most emotional, over the top behavior within the first three minutes of a game, it would go to Ray Lewis
  • After all the theatrics Sunday, I cannot wait until the Super Bowl
  • Of course I will miss the tradition of Pats players’ wives complaining about the outcome of the game
  • Is it preseason yet? I miss football
  • I am learning more about hockey, it helps to have a very large tv to watch it on, I can finally keep up with the puck
  • Kind of ready for a new batch of commercials to be released during the Super Bowl, one can only watch the Farmers commercials so often
  • Most useless sport ever? NASCAR, I can drive really fast in a circle so I am not sure what all the fuss is about
  • Best thing about the commentators for hockey? The accents and the use of the word keister. . . how many sports actually use the word keister? LOVE!
  • I believe I am going to spend the whole of the week confused about what day it is since I was off yesterday
  • I have a house I am desperate to stalk in town, the guy who lives there put together an air compressor and water hoses to create snow. As of the six o’clock newscast he had about nine inches of snow
  • Fair warning to this guy, I may never leave your yard once I find it
  • I NEED snow

Now I have to go back to watching the hockey game and giggling each time I actually figure something out. . .and yes I actually pull for the Nashville Preds, not a fan of the Fang Fingers but at least I am cheering for a local team.

I Have Become THAT Person. . .

I have always been open to listening to new music and there is very little that I don’t care for at all. But after a fun filled dinner with Son, Clarey and the whole crew last weekend, I finally had to accept that I was indeed an old fart. I liked the songs they were playing but I couldn’t name the bands performing them.

I am not sure if getting older gets in the way of looking out for new music or life just gets into the way but I am really no in the loop anymore. If you want to learn about some of the hair bands from the eighties, I can lay it all down for you.

I mentioned my desire to go see Def Leppard, again. And if I can pull it off I will be hitting the shows in Nashville and Atlanta because I can. I just need to find one poor soul to go with me for the Atlanta show.

My love of the 80s hair bands goes back to my my life as a junior high student. The videos and the music just took me somewhere that is hard to explain. Growing up in a small town that didn’t happen to offer much when it came to life choices and careers, daydreaming became king. The words, music and then their videos made to see that there happened to be a much bigger world out there.

I find myself listening to my generations’ music more often than not; in the car, in the office and even documentaries discussing the rise and fall of the bands that I love so much. And a big thank you to the Pandora app on my iPhone, you sweet little station puts a smile on my face and probably scared a few passerbys while zooming down the interstate.

So I will welcome and enjoy the new music coming to the forefront but no longer feeling proud of discovering some random group who really spoke to me. But my heart lies with my 80s hairbands, strong women stepping up to lay guitar and sing with such strong conviction.

My hair was never big back then but my love to my music is still strong. And now I feel like an old fart. . . I need to design an old fart flag to wave proudly.

A Mix Bag of Stuff

Burying a parent is hard and luckily I haven’t had to deal with this but Bird had to face that this week when we said goodbye to her mom. While you never want to say goodbye to a parent, grandparent, spouse, friend or child, it never gets easier to walk that path. But having friends there to lean on certainly help. I remember Bird coming to pay her respects to my Popa, a sweet gesture from friends.

A funny thing ended up happening while I spent time at the funeral home, I got to spend some quality time with Bird’s twins and nieces. After countless hugs, kisses, laughs and telling them no I ended up with a parting gift, a slight cold that kind of slowed me down this weekend. Oh well, with football on, movies to watch and naps to be had, it wasn’t a bad thing.

The cooler weather and me being under the weather inspired me to try, once again to make French onion soup. I love this soup, not only for the hearty flavor but the bread, onions and the cheese. Oh my! The cheese makes me happy. Here is the one issue I have when making this soup. In order to get the most out of your onions, they need to caramelize, which means cooking them slowly on a lower heat. Let’s just say that history of patience when it comes to anything, especially caramelizing onions is not good. I want to hurry the process but like most things, good things come to those who wait. So this time I took my time. Set my timer for 40 minutes and let those suckers turn a pretty shade of brown.

The end result? Perfection! Well, close to perfection. It makes me so happy to succeed in cooking and it was one of the few things left that the boy did so well because he is patient (well about cooking, let’s not get into football). While I probably need a few more tries to really prefect it, I will say that I am getting closer to getting it right. I guess I need to find another cooking challenge now.

After months (at least I think it has been months) of hearing about Pinterest, I finally signed up. Actually, I have had the invitation for a few weeks but never got around to creating an account. For those not in the know, it is simply a site for you to pin everything you have ever seen and liked to have as inspiration or a reminder of what you would like to have or do in one spot. You can create your own boards so if you are into cooking, sewing and decorating, then pin everything that you like within those categories. I started out basic and then kept adding other boards. Places I want to travel to, cookware, shoes, purses, etc. I like the thought behind it but I think that I have most of that in my head. . . who knows. I may be swearing by this in three months.

You all know I love me some Publix, I travel quite further now than when I lived in Nashville to get to one. But I have a small issue with them. . .they will take competitors coupons but will not match a price on an item. So these Lean Cuisine Spinach Artichoke Dip snackers that are $2.50 at Wal-Mart and $2.99 at Target are $3.49 at Publix! I loathe going to Wal-Mart; have for quite some time. But a dollar difference for the same product? Okay, fine, I will go there. I will huuf, puff and stomp my way there but I will go none the less. I even checked with Publix about this today and they said nope, no way. Sigh. . .there is a reason I shop at Publix and I normally buy what is on sale (instead of meal planning, I plan according to what is cheapest this week). Plus, I LOVE their milk and refuse to get it elsewhere unless I am getting it from Earthfare. Now that I go through a gallon or more a week, I don’t get it at the organic grocery store.

I did splurge today with regards to my diet. . . I got a large sweet tea to drink. So, so bad for me but I was in need of something to drink and that just sounded so good. Since I am focusing on drinking milk or water most of the time, I thought today would be a good time to indulge in something that makes me smile. I was going to go for the Sonic diet cherry Coke but it was past happy hour and I am not spending three bucks on a drink.

I am also really getting into French music. I listen to Pandora while at work and was getting tired of listening to some of the channels I have created so I created one with Amy Winehouse. Here is the thing, I had never really listened to her stuff not released on the radio. I love her voice but until I set that as a station I never had listened to her songs. Well, besides soulful lyrics, the station also brought together Ray Charles, Adele, Duffy, etc. but one of my favorite songs that has been used in a million movies, La Vie En Rose is on there by several different artists. It makes me dream of walking the streets of Paris on a crisp fall day, stopping at a cafe to write, eat bread and cheese and drink coffee and wine. And I thought I would never get the urge to want to visit Paris.

With that, I think I shall go heat up some of my very yummy French onion soup and catch up on all the football today. I am afraid to look at my fantasy football teams though. If I am striving for last place in either league, I am accomplishing that this year. My drafts weren’t that great and I am getting close to pulling a Coach Cower on all of my players, jut my jaw out and start yelling. . . with spit flying out of my mouth. Do you think that might help?

Running and the Invitable Onslaught of Thoughts

I have to give myself some props, I have actually managed to run a portion of my 2 1/2 mile walk without wanting to collaspe. This is quite a milestone for me because I hate to run, my joints remind me why I don’t run and oh, yeah, I HATE to run. But pushing myself, driving myself to the edge is something that I do best when I am upset.

And while my IPod is playing some of my favorite songs, songs that become the soundtrack to my life, I go into that dark space. The space that says I am a loser, no one wants to be with me and God forbid if the thought of being in a happy, committed relationship comes across my mind. I must be damaged in a way that even I can’t see and I wish that I could because maybe I could fix it.

I am not clingy, nor bossy. I tend to keep hurt feelings to myself or feel the need to throwup while trying to share those hurt feelings with others. I may never get it or understand why me, little ole goofy me, can’t find someone that can just love me unconditionally. Apparently the joke I used to share about being a disaster is quite true and who really wants to step into that mess?

I have one friend who has offered to set me up on blind dates. . . umm, think I will pass on that one. Part of it is, I hate to date but the biggest reason is my heart still belongs to someone else. I wish I could get it back, kind of like the stuff I left there, forgot to get and now they are probably in the trash bin.

And the final thought I had as I was finishing up my little exercise routine yesterday morning, I don’t want to trust anyone else, again. While I may seem like this big, fluffy puppy dog, ready to jump on you and love you, I am quite a mess on the inside. So scared to go forward but terified to be left behind. I am terribly insecure and letting myself believe that someone loved me and then proves that umm, not really, leaves me in a puddle of tears. And the only way to make myself feel better is to push my muscles to the extreme, exercise like it is going out of style and worrying about every little bity thing I put in my mouth.

I may feel like crap on the inside but at least I can be skinny again. . .