Tuesday Randomness

Well, well, well, hello Tuesday and can I say thank you for allowing me not to be in too much, over the top pain this morning? Let me do a little Snoopy dance for everyone while I work out the stiff muscles.

  • It seems my life now revolves around aches and pains, and I fully blame my trainer for this. . .
  • I was talking to my twin today when I asked her if she would carry me around when I am up in Nashville a few weeks from now, she said the chances of destroying businesses and falling would increase dramatically.
  • I asked her if there was a special event insurance coverage we could take out for the day, sadly I really think there is such a thing
  • The Queen is sick, as in, she is actually at home resting, not running around like a crazy person
  • This almost never happens, she is more like a watch that takes a beating and keeps on ticking
  • I had her in stitches last night discussing my hurt tush as well as the normal pain from working out, she laughed while begging me to stop. She then promptly coughed up a lung.
  • She also paid me one of the best compliments in the world, apparently Kristen Bell is on a Showtime show and her character reminds the Queen of ME!
  • I didn’t pay her to say that either. . .
  • I had to fess up that my toes are looking kind of sad and she begged me to not send her a picture. . . yes I have sent many a nasty looking foot picture in the past.
  • I got to love on a brand new baby this evening, my sweet neighbor finally had her little boy! He is a cutie and man, his sisters are all about him. . .
  • I seemed to have gained a couple of pounds back but I am hoping that is the muscles being built up and the fat going away
  • Wookie has taken being the baby to new levels, this morning he sat by the bed waiting for me to pick him up and put him on there before I left for work
  • This could be why I don’t have kids, if I can let a little grey monster dictate my life I don’t need munchkins!
  • Mom has her Darth Vadar machine now, otherwise known as a CPAP. Apparently the cat that I still maintain doesn’t really exist checks on her throughout the night.
  • A few weeks ago I picked up some Cornish Game Hens for dad, since then he has harassed me about them. I finally got them to their house, along with a ton of peanut butter and coffee.
  • Tomorrow is another personal training day, oh dear, I hope I can make it through it!
  • Although I am loving the whole, “Rest the next day,” instructions, yes sir! I will not work out!

And now I must get ready and hit the hay. I guess working out hard has helped with the whole sleeping thing. And I have to start drinking a lot more water because I have been slacking.

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The One Where I Fall on My Tush

Why yes, if there is a way to harm myself, I seem to find it. This time, thankfully, it was a graceful fall, per my trainer who I am still convinced is quite evil. The gym was packed today and we kept to one area while doing a portion of my session.

I was doing what I guess you would call some type of squat. I start by laying on the mat, do a crunch, grab the bar and stand up. The whole point of this exercise is to strengthen my tummy and legs. I get through two of them and my trainer is saying, good job, great form! Yeah! I am doing something right!

Unfortunately number three was when the bar popped up and I landed firmly on my tush. He did compliment me saying that had I not yelped in shock it would have looked like I hadn’t fallen. I may have an ample tush but that little fall hurt.

I am really liking the whole hiring a trainer although it takes days for me to feel normal again. My walk looks all kinds of wonky and no matter how hard I try, I tend to flop onto the toilet seat because my legs are killing me.

Oh and I smell like an old man. For those that know me, I have a serious soft spot for little old men. I think they are adorable. But let’s just say that the scent of Icy Hot is not one of my favorite things to smell. I got desperate last Thursday evening after hurting so bad that even ibuprofen wasn’t helping and picked up a bottle of that stuff. It doesn’t mesh well with Amazing Grace by Philosophy. Just saying.

The rest of the workout went smoothly until I told him I was thinking not so nice things about him. Thank goodness this kid has a sense of humor. After the torture of the treadmill (with an incline of 13, seriously, that is just wrong) he had me hit the elliptical for seven minutes. He even got on the one next to me and we watched Tim Tebow say he was excited about playing for the Jets 45 times. I asked him if he thought Tebow was excited and then figured it might have been his word for the day.

Now I am off to basically bathe in the Icy Hot and pray that I can walk tomorrow. Or be able to lift Wookie to the bed without dropping him tonight. All I can say is, I can’t wait to start seeing some results because this has to be one of the most sadistic ways I have spent money, ever.

I’m Shredding Ya’ll. . .

Oh dear, what did I get myself into? A little back history about me and my body. We have a love/hate relationship. My family has health issues, weight issues and I got a bit of both in my genes. And I love to cook, read cookbooks and just to prove how much of a freak I can be, I love to read restaurant menus. No joke and to make my love of food go a bit further, I plan my trips to NYC and Washington DC around the restaurants that I will visit.

I have seen the scale go up and down several times in the past few years and I know it is not healthy but it seems like life distracts me and the next thing I know, clothes don’t fit anymore. So I have been trying a bit of everything the past few months. The boy was trying to encourage me but I just got frustrated and bored with the diet and exercise plan. In fact, he was also a great cook and loved food just as much as I do. . .

After the stresses of the past couple of months, my stomach decided to revolt. I eat and then end up feeling really sick to my stomach, which prompts me to stop eating. So my meals have been cut into the smallest portion known to man. Bad for my health but helpful when trying to lose weight. I have lost 13lbs so far and need to get quite a few more off before I consider this a success.

Since the weather got so hot so quickly, walking is not on my top list of things to do. I miss it but the humidity here is quite thick and I can’t deal with it so I did the next best thing. . .

I read on Suburban Turmoil about The 30 Day Shred and realized that my hatred of the gym and my inability to workout for hours at a time was a huge barrier for me. So off I went to Target to get this so called 2o minute workout. . .it was going to be easy. I mean really, I have worked out for a couple of hours at a time, this couldn’t be bad. . .

I was wrong. I was bright red, dripping sweat and questioning my ability to even walk three feet when I finished the first workout. And then the shower, OMG, I thought I was going to fall my legs were shaking so badly. Who is this Jillian Michaels and what is her phone number????? I went into work the next day walking very slowly and with each movement I winced. It was bad. After that one little workout, I thought I had finished a marathon.

The next few days were filled with winces, shrieks and curses to Jillian. When I tried the program again, it wasn’t as bad but with each workout I have felt a bit better. My muscles hurt but in the good way. I can see where the weight is coming off although I wish I could just use an eraser to get rid of my thighs. They are huge and don’t really go down that much when I do get the weight off.

But I am shredding and with each “just five more seconds” from Jillian, I am thinking of ways to torture her. I will only rethink this plan if I get back into my skinny jeans. . .