The last in a series of six quotes that I happen to love from the series. While I am sure I have bored some with my thoughts, it was nice to relive some of the times that I had in my younger days. This happens to be my most favorite quote, at one point it was tacked up on my bulletin board in my apartment.
When it comes to relationships, maybe we’re all in glass houses, and shouldn’t throw stones. Because you can never really know; some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies..
Sometimes it is really difficult to articulate to others why I am still single. I am that girl that does dream of her wedding day and making a life with that special someone. Subconsciously I didn’t want to marry too young. I felt like I really needed to get to know myself before adding anyone else to the mix on such a permanent basis.
As I grew and learned more about myself I also allowed Bubba into my life and while there were some good times, there were quite a few bad times. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” And it is so true. I allowed things that in my right mind I would be irate if others were treated that way but I was “in love” and willing to suck it up instead of standing up for myself.
It took quite a few years to get to that point and even with Jorge I managed to get it wrong quite often. The best learning experience that I had was hitting a dry spell in the dating realm. I got to know me again and look at my past and determine what I was doing wrong. I also started talking to Bubba again and began to let go of the unhappiness that I had had with him. With that friendship blooming and finally becoming more normal I realized that I had repeated some mistakes.
I also had to accept that maybe, just maybe that special someone might not be out there. That feeling comes and goes. For me, it is more important that I accept what is going on in my life right now instead of dreaming of what could be. While the boy and I are working on a friendship I did realize that I had stood up for things that in the past I would have kept my mouth shut about.
I am sure each of us can look at our friends’ relationships and point out flaws; but that is not what they are there for. You might not agree with what Jane does or Joe doesn’t do but the reality is that the relationship you see is not 100% transparent to you. Small acts of kindness maybe hidden behind the door of their relationship.
I have a friend that is struggling right now with her relationship. I believe her fear of being alone negates the red flags that are flying all around her. I get that because I have been there, done that and have a t-shirt for the disaster as well. Is it fun being alone on a Friday night? Nope but then again I wouldn’t trade my lonely Friday nights for settling with a warm body who may or may not respect my wants and needs.
I do understand that the butterflies tend to be less and less often as a relationship matures but having them is nice. What I want may not exist and if that is the case, I am okay with that. It is scary at times to know that there is no significant other on the horizon but I don’t want to settle. I want someone who gets me and doesn’t feel the need to stifle my dreams.