The One Where I Get Cooties

Ever since I could remember, I have been allergic to most everything. Dirt, grass, cats, makeup, you name it and I had some kind of reaction to it. I would get that look from my mom after playing outside, snot running down my face and saying I had not been playing in the dirt. Besides the dirt under my nails, I think the snot running down my face pretty much gave it away.

I have grown out of some of my allergies and others like to hang in there just for the fun of it. Several years ago I had many small bites on the tops of my feet. I thought they were bug bites or chiggers but after a week they spread all the way up my body. Several months later I finally learned that it was poison ivy and it took forever to get rid of, since then I am usually cautious about my interactions with the outdoors.

A month or so ago I noticed that I kept breaking out at my hairline, small clusters of bumps that itched. I kept thinking it was all the sweating from working out clogging my pours. I tried my old standby from Clinique to rid myself of the acne. It wouldn’t go away. So then I tried Benedryl Gel for Kids (don’t get the one for adults, it does nothing!) thinking that would clear it up. Still nothing.

Then it decided to spread around my scalp, behind my ears and at the nape of my neck. And I was itchy! And when my glasses would hit the section behind my ears that would hurt. After finally admitting that nothing was helping and quite frankly I was over the itchy thing weeks ago I went to see my doctor. Bless her, it seems like I am always in there for random things instead of the normal things.

A foam and a strong antihistamine later, I am less itchy but this stuff has yet to disappear. Although it really helps the naps happen more often and longer. That stuff always makes me sleepy.

Bird is convinced I have cooties. And I have to laugh because this was the biggest insult one to give to you in grade school. My cooties are apparently caused by some allergen in the air mixed with the massive amounts of sweat. I also have a nice patch on my wrist. I will say this though, this is much better than the excema I dealt with a few years ago. This is somewhat hidden. Then? I looked like a poster child for when bad skin happens to good people.

I could go the route of seeing an allergist and getting the skin testing done but really, I just don’t see the point. I know my skin is sensitive and has many issues. I would prefer not to have to add more medications to my routine, more lotions or potions and then still have to worry about getting into something that might break me out.

Instead I will look for a bubble that I can crawl into and go about life that way. Sure, it will be hard to get into my car and drive, snuggling with the cat will be difficult and of course, should something shocking happen I go on a date? How embarrassing would that be for a first date? So sorry Joe! I really am not this robust but this bubble really helps with the cooties!

On second thought, I am thinking the cooties would scare the guy off as well! Another reason to put on the list of why I am still single! And I doubt my trainer would be forgiving if I said I couldn’t do a particular exercise due to the bubble. He’s kind of sneaky that way, if you say something is easy or you don’t particularly like something, he makes you do it ten fold! And I pay for this? Oy Vey! The things I will do to get healthy!

Oh and just for a little “go me” I have to brag. My madras dress that I got a billion years ago at Target and wore out on the infamous 21st birthday outing for my friend’s sister? Where I looked completely out of sync with the hipster kids? I can get that bad boy down over my hips again! I still need to lose quite a bit more before I wear it as a dress again (instead of as a long shirt) but dude! I can get it over my hips!

I Laughed so Hard I Cried

The debate about movie ticket sales, the high cost of going in this crappy economy and the fact that Hollywood seems to have lost there sense of originality (cringing at the thought of Footloose and Dirty Dancing being remade) has made me wait until something comes out on DVD. I make exceptions though for movies that I know are worth my weekly pay. And then there is the cheap theater (Regal Hamilton Place, $3) that I always think about but never go to; until last night.

Let me throw out my issues first with the “discount” theaters. In general, these theaters have not be revamped, so no stadium seating and up to date digital goodness. The popcorn and soda are still expensive but like I really need a snack. I have a thing about good seating. With stadium seating, I go to the very back, middle; those are the best seats in the house. Also, being that I am short, even in stadium seating I don’t have to crane my neck around some really tall person in front of me. So the one, maybe two times I go see a movie in the theater, it is all worth it.

On to the good! I saw Bridesmaids last night. Oh dear Lord in Heaven! That would have been worth seeing at full matinee price. I sat with Bird, laughing during the bridesmaid dress looking, to the point of crying. I can only imagine having those issues in an expensive store WITH white carpeting. The street scene was great only because with my stomach on a normal day after having a very healthy egg white omelet I know that sense of urgency.

There were many times when I grabbed Bird, thinking I was going to fall onto the floor from laughing, cringing or a laugh/cry combo. It was all too much to handle and not anything like I had imagined. I thought that this all would happen on their trip to Vegas. But I was happy none the less at the crap that Kristen Wiig got herself and the girls into while trying to plan a wedding.

Of course, I also felt for her character. I am the last single girl standing. While my friends are now having babies, I do remember dealing with lack of money, bad dates, bad relationships, failed career choices all while my friends were planning their weddings. It is bittersweet, I think that is the best way to describe it, seeing your friends so happy because you are so happy for them but then you go home to your apartment, greeted by your cat and realize that none of that stuff is happening to you.

Sure, it could happen, but I have gotten to that point where I just don’t care. It is, I guess, a milestone for me, accepting that being single for the duration of my life and trying to find the bright spots within it. I can do what I want when I want, if I wanted to explore options of moving somewhere completely different, I don’t have to discuss it with a spouse or take into consideration children. Thinking of taking a vacation for my birthday to NYC is completely okay because I don’t have to think about anyone else. But I also have the internal fight of the other wants in my life. To settle down, have a kid and work as a team.

Of course, at the end of the movie, our heroine gets the boy and all is right in the world. For me? When it is fall or winter, football is on the tv and I am snuggled up on the couch with my cat, all is right in the world.

Now I need to finish The Help so I can go see that movie. But the good news is I have (through Sprint, my cell phone carrier) been able to purchase two tickets at $4 apiece. I have to say, that whole texting TAKEDOWN while waiting for Harry Potter to start was a good thing.

Now I am off to stalk to the cheap theater to see when they will get HP on their screen!

Random Musings About a Boy

Sometimes relationships just don’t work out, sometimes they do. I was talking with a friend about the boy, who randomly calls and texts from time to time. I mentioned in passing that we met via eHarmony.

And this is where one of the funniest confessions comes into play. When those commercials come on, my blood boils and the urge to throw my drink at the tv is tempting. We all have dreams of meeting that right person, the one that falls right into your life and things seem great. But…

But as the relationship grows and time marches on, lines are drawn from both sides. He with his macho “I don’t do cards or flowers” as if this is a cute quirk. My line? I do have friends that happen to be male, I will still be friends with them. You can meet them if you like, I will always be open with you when I go do things with them.

We both nod in acceptance to this but in the back of my head I am thinking that at some point, walking into a Hallmark store to pick up a card, write a few words on it and hand it to me isn’t like asking him for a kidney or a million dollars. It is a card, expressing your feelings of love, appreciation, etc.

As we try this friend thing I have to say, it isn’t anything like the friendship I have with Bubba. That relationship was rife with horrible memories mixed in with some good ones. I adore Bubba but we knew that there was nothing more to it than being friends. Maybe the boy doesn’t understand his feelings, maybe he is trying to play games or maybe he is afraid to let me all the way in. But after seeing him cry twice during our time together, I have to say, he let me in so it must be a game to him.

Sadly, those games are old hat to me, Bubba and I played them very well for over seven years. Getting to the point of not analyzing it, forgetting that you asked him to keep you in the loop about something makes me think that maybe I have finally let go. The hurts, the frustrations. The bad thing is, we were matched on that blasted dating site, have a lot in common and fit well together. And I walked. I no longer regret it or think about the what ifs.

I have become accustomed to my routine, my me time and how I live my life. I still struggle, stumble all of the time and have had my fair share of meltdowns but I think that relates to accepting that I won’t have a family of my own. Am I okay with that? Not sure but I do know that my emotional health as well as my physical health need to take top priority right now.

I thought I knew a lot about guys but after looking at my past relationships I am still as clueless as I was on that first car date with Chris. Such is life.

I take it all with a grain of salt and know that in the near future I have a lot to look forward to and that would be football. Sign me up because I am going to be all about it this fall. A nice distraction with cooler temps will bring that smile back to my face.

And hopefully some pounds will pour off and I can get back to being little miss sassy pants!

To All My GenX Sisters, Can We Really Have It All?

I was reading an article about this in The Daily Mail this morning and it hit home, maybe a bit too hard for my liking. As I have said before, I got lucky in terms of having the father I have. He encouraged me to go after what I wanted to do in life. He didn’t see any issues due to my gender.

To have it all, in terms of the article, I should have a top notch career, a loving, supportive spouse and kids. And I wouldn’t argue with that if I didn’t see my life as a bit of a mess. A mess that I look at, swear I am going to declutter and move forward to attain each and every goal.

The only problem is the older you get, some of those dreams kind of disappear or look as it they are unattainable. So let me break this down for you in terms of what I know about me. I want some feedback from all of you though.

  • Career~well, I fell into my career after learning that my love for my college education would not keep a roof over my head. I also wanted to stay in Nashville because of Bubba. But throughout my career I have worked hard, took advice, learned as much as I could and then I would spin it so I could use all those wonderful skills I learned in college. I am scraping by financially and nowhere near what I thought I would be in terms of my career. My passion is writing, my other passion is being surrounded by kids, teaching them and seeing the world through their eyes.
  • Love~well, I can say that I have plenty of friends who love me to the moon and back. We have been there through our highs and lows; willing to help out when needed. But the one, the one I thought I would have found by now is not in sight. There is one that could possibly be the one but I think by the time it hits him, I will have decided I don’t care anymore. I am set in my ways and I am a strong, independent woman. If I make a mess, I want to figure out how to pick it all back up. In truth, I don’t need a man in my life to make me feel whole, I would like a man in my life that compliments my quirks with his and can respect what I have to say.
  • Children~I want them but not without a husband. This is truly the only traditional thing on my list and in part, it has more to do with my parents than anything else. I think I have caused enough trouble to grey their hair, I think having a child in wedlock would be a nice gesture to them. Plus, I need backup when it comes to kids now, I get tired or frustrated, someone had better step up and help out.

We can make all the plans in the world but I think the big guy upstairs has his plans put together and it seems silly to try and fight him on that. He wins, just pass some notes from time to time so I can figure it out. Please.

Why is it still a man’s world? Is it because as females we like to nurture, take care of others and sometimes see our career as something that can be worked around. From the article, it states that several women in my age range have given up their high profile jobs in order to still have a career, maybe less demanding, and find balance with their spouse and children.

Balancing is tough and I have watched men simply shirk off some of the home life in order to build the career. Maybe they don’t have those heartstrings being tugged on all of time. I don’t have any answers, only that at this point in my life I know I want something more.

I dream of moving back to Nashville or going to DC or NYC and making a life there but how? It takes a lot of money, money I do not have. I also still dream of taking off across the Atlantic to spend way too much time in London, Paris and the like. All so I could take it all in and write about it.

Do I just want a long term boyfriend, no kids and the ability to travel wherever? Or do I want to get married, compromise on my career front and have babies that I can raise and hope I don’t make any mistakes with them. Instill fiscal responsibility that I didn’t inherit.

The older I get the more distorted that picture gets of what I want my life to look like. One day I hope I have published a book, to be known as a writer and have blog my title inked into my wrist. A daily reminder that I could write, make people laugh, cry and think. For me, the written word means so much, I love being able to take those thoughts in my head and turn them into something I am so proud of; knowing that if one person takes away a nugget of wisdom, it was all worth it.

For now I will focus on my career, love my friends, their kids and my family. I still believe in fairy tells I just don’t know how to go about finding that glass slipper.