I tend to be a gluten for punishment. I can’t help it. I am quite stubborn you know. After learning the hard way that the boy was back on the dating market, I was devastated to say the least. But when I woke up this morning, I was mad. As in, I gave the relationship my all and he didn’t see it or he just didn’t appreciate it. Kind of sucks but I guess that is why you kiss frogs, in hopes that one just might be your prince. And while I am still upset over the things that happened, I can say without a doubt that he was a nice guy, it just didn’t fit like I wanted to.
Which brings me to my next step, dating. AGAIN. I have gone back to the site that at least matched me with someone that I have tons of things in common with and trying it all over again. Will it work this time? I don’t know but I do know (and here comes the ultimate “that is such a chick thing to say”) that time is not on my side. Meaning that at 35, if I want kids, taking a couple years off to heal, learn from past mistakes. . .well that doesn’t work out in my mathematical world.
I still do the what ifs, my stomach stays in knots but if I don’t leap now, I probably won’t. Why? Well, let’s just say, sitting in my apartment and going to work gets kind of comfy. And when that happens, trying to even get me out for drinks and dinner is harder than leading a horse to water.
I don’t know what the future holds but I have to start feeling better before I really do become the crazy cat lady.