My staycation is quickly passing by me and I start to whimper a bit as I think of the things I should be doing. I should be getting my Christmas cards together and out, I should be putting the finishing touches on my Christmas decor and I should be organizing my closet and getting rid of crap I no longer need.
Instead I have spent it with Chandler watching tv, talking and eating; even my midday naps are not really happening. But in the end, life happens even when you are napping so why not be awake instead of sleeping through it all?
I took him to my parents’ house yesterday to get the meet and greet over with. This is the new part for me because when I lived in Nashville, they rarely were there to meet who I was dating and if I brought them home, it was for a short time. And as you get older, well, the meetings tend to be a bit more stressful. You want your parents to like the person you are dating and you want the person you are dating to like them. So many pieces of the puzzle to put together and for me, the Queen of Bad Choices, well, it has always seemed like a revolving door.
But as life tends to do, any plans you make are turned completely upside down and actually resemble my crazy closet. We have talked about the future and it is exciting and thrilling while at the same time daunting. Combining two separate lives is a challenge, especially when it comes to two people in their mid-thirties.
We tend to throw this thoughts out there, giving us both enough to think about but it only leads to more questions. And then there is the part that sometimes puts your own friends to question the warp speed at which you are going. I always thought it was cheesy when people would say, when you know it is right, you just know. There are no time lines, rules to follow, a to-do list to check off.
And here is where my poor Type A personality comes into play. I like to plan, I like to have lists that I can work off of, I like knowing what needs to be done and how to do it. Uncertainty really drives me up the wall and that is my downfall. Because while we talk about the future no decisions have been made. Will the other shoe drop and the happiness that I have felt come crashing down? Will I drive him crazy with the questions that I have since I am the least patient person in the world?
My friends have noted that this is the first time in a long time that I have been happy and while I certainly feel blessed to have him in my life the pessimist in me is just waiting. I feel so lucky to have someone who is open, honest and willing to discuss whatever pops into my head. This is the first time that I have had that, the others dealt with me by humoring me from time to time. So while this is all so new to me it feels like we have known each other for a lifetime.
I am once again here with no answers, just questions and I know that in time they will all be answered. But until then I will be living in hyper speed and my poor brain will not get the chance to relax. I would love to know which side of the family I got this from because this particular gene could be the death of me.
And maybe tomorrow I will tackle my closet. . . and even find my glove that has been missing for quite some time.